Sunday Free For All

Not a lot of people read this on the weekends, so I thought I'd just throw up a grab bag of shit that I've accumulated recently, thinking "Hey, that would make a fun little post." But then I didn't get around to it because, remember people, my lack of ambition at overcoming entropy sometimes outweighs my desire to tickle your fancies. If you need help plotting the relationship between my love of your comments versus my inherent laziness, I suggest the Arrhenius equation.

Anyway, remember that book thing I'm trying to work on and publish and all that shit? Well, for one, I'm waiting a bit for the economy to not be so dour before plunging headlong into the submission pool once anon. Hopefully, with the president telling everyone NOT to believe the media hype (for once), things will slowly begin to tick up. Now, if we could get more institutions to not take bailout money, the stock markets would begin to slide back up and then some enterprising agent would be like "awesome, let's print this thing!"

So, as you remember, I'm working on a big fantasy story. Since I've basically crafted an entire world for my characters, I decided to work in the whole element of realism that follows along with history, political structures and religion. For the religion aspect, I based my deities on Norse and Germanic mythology, with a healthy dose of Celtic, for good measure. When I did that, I busted open my guide to the gods and read, cover to cover, the section on Norse mythology. Imagine, then, my sheer giddy glee when I stumbled across a web comic centered on the dysfunction surrounding the Norse gods. I've been delighting in this for weeks now; here's the link to Brat-Halla. It might help to read it and keep open the Encyclopedia Mythica, in case you're not familiar with who Hod, Heimdall, Syf, Tyr, Frigg and Baldur are (I assume you know who Thor, Odin and Loki are...oh, and the Valkyries).

Brat-Halla's cast of characters
Jidai posted this the other day, but I have to steal it and leave it here, in case you missed out on it. There are some excellent nuggets of geeky reference in this.
Saturday Morning Watchmen Cartoon:


If you're a football fan and you're not reading Kissing Suzy Kolber, you're doing yourself a disservice. For instance, here's their recent Watchmen parody as played out by NFL players. I'm not sure which I like more, Silk Steeler or BoobsAssTits.

More Watchmen shit. Here's the PvP parody of Watchmen, using classic comic strip characters. It might not be as funny as the first two links, but it's still quite clever. Pfangirl originally had the links up for me.

Okay, last Watchmen thing. No matter how brilliant this is, this comic is disturbingly funny. It makes a lot more sense if you've read the comic or at least seen the movie. Thanks to Theory of Everything for making this possible.

And in case you missed the twin celebrations yesterday...or thought I was making it all up...here's the histories behind Pi Day (it's 3-14, in case you couldn't figure it out) and Steak and Blow Job Day (kind of NSFW link). Now, where's Nej to tell me that she learns something every time she reads my blog?

Have You Guys Seen This?

I know, I know. I'm a grump. I dislike LOLCatz with the white hot passion of a thousand burning suns, or some other hyperbolic metaphor that comes to mind. Essentially, I want to pick kitteh up and punt his ass over the nearest river, but that's just me.

Oh, sure, I was lured in at first. I thought, "Oh, ha ha, yeah, I guess a cat would talk that way. Oh, look, ceiling cat is watching me masturbate! That cunning little pervert, hiding up there in the ceiling like that." Then, suddenly, I knew what it was like to be one of my love interests, and then things started feeling creepy. Kind of like that time I was wrestling with Uncle Tony.

*ahem*

Anyway, Lou at A Scientist's Life turned me on to the greatness that is ROLCatz. Except the R should be switched around, Toys R Us style, but with less silly stylized, cartoonish giraffes. At first I was like, "Yeah, okay, there's a bear and he's showing us his naughty bits, nice, nice, okay, hugging cats, yeah yeah...ho fucking hum..."

And then I came across this little dandy here:

"Ahhh...pig iron, your musk is that of glorious industry!"

I fucking died. I don't know why. Maybe it just hit me the right way, but it's hit me the right way ever since, every time I log in and look at it. Just like that time when I was wrestling with Uncle Tony.

*ahem*

Of course, there's some douchebag who clogs up the comments section with his "that's not the right translation, it's really 'mmmm...I smell sausages!'" Eff off, douchebag. Didn't you see Red Dawn? I mean, fuck, those bastards snuck up on us, and we still stopped them cold *slams fist on desk* at the Rockies!

Douchebagginess aside, the site is mildly entertaining. There are some good ones in there, and there are some others that are kind of "meh", and then there are some like pig iron kitteh up there that are fucking brilliant. I thought maybe it would bring some enlightenment and entertainment to you this weekend, because I'll be too busy raping the bargain aisles at Circuit City to come up with much else in the way of posts.

I shall reap the failure of the capitalist swine as my cousins harvest wheat upon the Collectives in the Ukraine! Tonight we dine upon borscht, for tomorrow we may rot in Hell!

Kissing Zelda: Link's Time to Shine

I'm feeling lazy, but I'm also amused by the misfortune of others this fine afternoon. So I thought I'd just toss up some goofy stories and let you all enjoy.

My daughter's basketball team lost last night, booting them from the tournament and thus ending yet another bittersweet year of youth basketball. The final score was 16-12 (her team had an 8-3 lead at halftime). Of course, their night was not nearly as bad as Scotland Country Day from Pennsylvania's District 3. The final score puts me in mind of the 124-12 whipping my girl's high school team put on Wabash my senior year to open sectionals. Story.

No word about wheather a prehistoric man locked in a block of ice was found: Story.

Screw KU; check out where she went to undergrad! Somewhere, Bob Broadman is smiling. Story.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Story.

And then of course, there's this. You didn't think I could let a day go by without bringing it up, did you? Story.