Holy sweet Jesus. On a day when it's reported that a man punched a shark while giving some sort of deathly ululation, we also get the strange tale of Michelle Allen.
As the story goes, Ms. Allen was run in because she allegedly chased a bunch of kids while wearing a cow costume. She also pissed on someone's porch, prompting the police to tell her to "go home and stay home". Apparently, she didn't head back to the corral, but instead went on to cause more trouble. The police didn't take her in until she started causing traffic problems elsewhere. No word on whether Bill Pickett was called in to help with the collar.
Amazingly--and brace yourselves for this one--Ms. Allen smelled of alcohol. No. Fucking. Way. It's true--according to the report. One thing the report didn't tell us? Why the fuck she was dressed up like a cow.
1 week ago
