A Few Updates

Because I absolutely hate leaving stories untold/unfinished...

1) Butch Davis managed to use the rumors of Arkansas wanting to hire him to lobby for a $200,000/year raise and a small extension on his contract. He then went out and managed to lead his team past Duke in overtime on UNC's home field, a game in which they were pretty much outplayed by Duke for most of the game. Former Notre Dame verbal commitment Greg Little, who balked at playing defensive back, proved to be UNC's most effective running back, gaining over 100 yards on the ground. In fact, he was pretty much the only offense the Tarheels could muster.

2) Bobby Petrino, of course, took the Arkansas job, leaving the Atlanta Falcons midseason in order to deepen his sleazy reputation coach the Razorbacks. He pulled the ultimate frat guy trick of leaving a note saying that he was leaving, a few hours after telling the owner that he was "his man" and he'd be there through the thick of it. Nice. It was the equivalent of telling a drunk girl at a college party that you'll always love her, taking her back to your room, having her pass out, bang her, and then leave her on her parents' doorstep in a shopping cart. And then adding a note that says "Thanks, bitch."

3) Rich Rodriguez was hired as Michigan's head coach. This is about nine months after Michigan hired West Virginia's basketball coach, John Beilein, thus making themselves another powerful enemy. I understand Rodriguez's move here as it's a chance to coach one of the nation's premier teams with a storied history in the sport. I seriously don't think it's a lateral move (at best), like some West Virginia fans have claimed. How many National Championships has West Effin' Virginia won? Oh, right. How many have they pissed away losing to the Wandstash? Right, one. Anyway, congrats to Michigan, I think you found a good coach, though I doubt I'll feel so nice and cozy about this hire in, oh, September.

4) While there won't be much whining and gnashing of teeth in Raleigh since Tom O'Brien is staying put, there might be wailing and beating of breasts in Tuscaloosa. Sure, it's internet rumor, but apparently Nick $aban's agent called up the WF'nVU athletic department as soon as Rodriguez was announced, letting them know he was interested. Apparently, a friend of mine tells me, $aban is from West Virginia and so this would be a homecoming for him. The article I read can be found here, via Foul Balls (another fine read, especially if you're a Chicago sports fan). This has moved to the top of my Christmas wishlist, but as long as it gets done by the 28th of December, I'll be happy. See, I'm slated for arrival in Atlanta that day, where my wife's brother AND sister--who both attended the University of Alabama--live, and I can just imagine the gnashing of teeth that will go on. The only drawback is that my wife's grandfather, who attended Auburn, won't be there to egg on the other two as they bemoan the sad fate of their football program.

5) Apparently, there was a bit of a paternity suit brought against beloved Notre Dame alum George Gipp (famously played by Ronald Reagan in "Knute Rockne: All-American"). So, his body was exhumed to grab a DNA sample. Now, the Gipper was a typical college athlete before college athletes became typical: he enjoyed not going to class, getting drunk, and dabbling in the ladies, and by dabbling, I mean fucking. And by ladies I mean blonde, busty college girls. So, the thought of a bastard Gipp running around isn't exactly out of the question.

6) Boudica was a queen of the Iceni people, famous for her red hair and fiery disposition. She led a revolt against several Roman military leaders (I think this was before they were officially an Empire, but I'm not certain on that one) after her husband, Prasutagus, died and willed his kingdom to his daughters--which was not recognized by the Romans. The revolt was successful enough that she managed to burn London to the ground and actually had Nero (so I guess it was an Empire, huh?) ready to pull out of Britannia. She was eventually defeated at the Battle of Watling Street. However, she was "rediscovered" during the Victorian era and much romanticized, inspiring a poem Boadicea by Alfred, Lord Tennyson. She has since appeared in several fictious works, film and television (including a spot on Xena: Warrior Princess) and even has appeared in Civilization II and Civilization IV. Each time she is portrayed with her trademark red hair and fiery disposition, usually as a Warrior Queen of some kind (even as Boodikka, a member of the Green Lantern Corps).

7) I found a new agent to submit a query to. He represents the guy who is writing the last Robert Jordan book. Yes, this means that it could have been yours truly had I not been so effing lazy and addicted to Civilization III. In fact, screw you. I have a war with the Chinese I need to go finish.