Is This Thing On?

*timidly approaches the stage, taps the microphone*

*two echoing booms ring out, followed by an ear-piercing screech of feedback reverb*

So, uh, can anybody hear me?

Hello? Hello? Hello? Is there anybody out--no! I'm not going to stoop to the level of a forced Pink Floyd reference.

Well, if there is anyone out there still reading this (and my stat bar suggests that at least some ill-meaning spam artists are still showing up here, if only to slap together some penis-enhancement ads in Cyrillic script), I thought maybe I'd give you a little update on my life.

Motherfucker's been busy.

I know I told I was working two jobs, and that shit sucks. Think about working one job, and then double it. See how that works? It's like math or something.

I've also taken up this geocaching hobby, which is an obsession all to itself. Basically, it's a big hide-and-seek game done with GPS satellites. Way to use technology for the betterment of humanity, right? Anyway, I...I would rather think about how much weight (like, 50 pounds or so) I've lost hiking up and down the trails of central North Carolina and less about the amount of gas I've burned driving to find these little things.

Moving on.

I've also been writing more. Well, not here, as evidenced by my severe drop-off in the number of posts I would crank out for no one to read. I've been doing actual writing, stuff. Plus, I handed out a bunch of copies of the manuscript I have done and I'm "happy" with. Of course, while converting it to formats that can be read on electronic devices, I found two grammatical mistakes. And that was just on the last page. Before I did the conversion, I noted an incorrect "it's" and then a misspelled "respects" (I think it was "respescts"). Fucking fabulous. I are gude at proofreeding.

I have about three major stories on hiatus while I go back and do yet another rewrite on my big book, the one that kicks off a multi-volume series. You know, because everyone loves Game of Thrones so much, and they really love those six year gaps between books. I thought maybe I should get into that game (pun only slightly intended). Or, better yet, if I'm in that arena and something should happen to George Martin (like it did to Robert Jordan), I want to be the guy who picks up the ashes of Westeros and puts them back together.

Unfortunately, I decided that I should go through and develop some of my secondary characters in the story and work in a few more plot twists and such. This means that, in some cases, I'm reading and rewriting certain chapters probably for the fifth or maybe sixth time. BO-RING!!!

Why am I telling you all this? Why the fuck have I come back now? For some shameless self-promotion? Well, yeah. However, I finally killed a character that I've offed half-a-dozen times now, leading me to a natural break in the story. That means that I can finally step back and work on a different project for a bit.

Backstory time: A while ago (and by while, I mean a shit-ton of years ago) a very dear friend of mine wanted me to write her a story. Just, a story. She told me nothing about what should go into the story, just that she wanted me to write one for her. Not about her, not with her as a character, just write a story.

I have started and stopped the story several times over the interim, and let me tell you, hitting "delete" just does not have the same cathartic feeling as ripping a piece of paper out of a typewriter, crumpling it up in your hands, and chucking that bad boy against the far wall in a fit of writer's block-induced rage. Finally, one day while sitting in traffic, I began to formulate the makings of a story--an actual good story--and so I kept rolling the characters and events and order over and over in my mind. This eventually led to getting text on the screen and the notion of a story put together--plot, timing, development and everything!

Her birthday was recently, and I tried my best to get the story done in time for her birthday, but, as usual, I failed. I only have a bit of it done. So, that's what she's going to get for now. If you remember my Romans vs. Vampires story from a few Halloweens ago, I think I'm going to put her story together like that: releasing it over the course of a few days and then, in the end, pulling all the pieces together, making a pdf and sending to her.

In the meantime, starting tomorrow, you'll begin to see the story I wrote for my friend called "The Photograph". I hope you enjoy it.

Happy birthday, pal.