So, I'm doing this whole writing thing, right? *doubles over in laughter* Oh, I'm just fooling you guys. I'm not doing any writing. There's too much shit that gets in the way, like avoiding writing. Heh. I almost believed myself for a second, too.
Anyway, while crafting this world I've created, I've had to go through and populate it with people, because, really, a story about a world not inhabited by people would be kind of boring. Who would be there to fuck it up? Exactly. So, of necessity, I've had to create people. To avoid calling them "Guy 1" or "Guy 2" or "Chick with Enormous Tits Who Wears Very Little", I decided to give them names.
Now, I've already talked about handing out first names here. It's the last names that have been a bit of a problem. It's not that there's a lack of good last names in the world--mine or any other--but it's picking the right ones that give a sense of power or dignity or worth. For instance, Shitbritches would not be a good name, whereas Montgomery is. I've detailed this process in the linked post, but for those who don't like to go clickety-click on the links, the basic idea is that I kept most of my names Brittano-centric. However, I've found myself edging into Germanic names, as well, which makes sense, if you think of it. I mean, I have names like Sluder and Wilhelms, but I tend to steer clear of the in-your-face Germanic names, like Schwarzenfucker and such. 
All of this has gotten me to thinking about various name origins. Some of them are easy to deduce. For instance, the name "Smith" probably means that somewhere in a person's life, their ancestor worked in a smithy and someone with the last name "Cooper" had an ancestor who made barrels. "Johnson" and "Jackson" are also pretty easy to figure out: that's John's son or Jack's son (though John and Jack are both short for Johnathan...but that's a whole other kettle of fish). Some people are named for the places they lived, like someone named "Woods" probably, you know, lived in or near the forest while someone named "Moore" probably lived in a bog.
How is it, then, that someone earned themselves the last name "Glasscock"? Or "Cockburn"? Or "Hollopeter"? Or one of my personal favorites, "Longfellow"? Or the rather unfortunate pair, "Morecock" and "Morehead"?
On second thought, perhaps I don't really want to know...
2 weeks ago
