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Happy Saint Alberta's Day!

March 11, 2008

Today (March 11) is St. Alberta's day. Here is the blurb written about her at St. Patrick's Church Saint O' The Day site:

Died c. 286. Saint Alberta is said to have been one of the first martyrs under Diocletian, who suffered with Saint Faith. When some spectators objected to her execution, Procurator Dacian of Agen had them beheaded, too (Benedictines, Delaney).

As you know, that's only part of the story. One little known fact is that she was very fond of hair decorations and often would change them before attending her daily prayers and vigils. She was a bit of a collector of these clips, so much so that weather systems that move through the middle part of Canada were named in her honor. Also, after she was martyred, her remains were kept in a can. No one has yet to let her out, despite several calls to do so.

I can only assume that Diocletian had her beheaded as "Procurator Dacian of Agen had them (Alberta's supporters) beheaded, too". The "too" implies, to me, that Alberta was also decapitated. That Diocletian, he sure knew how to treat a lady. As far as persecution of Christians, Diocletian was second only to Nero, who was decidedly insane and evil. I guess this stems from him not being much of a war leader, since his troops were routinely defeated time and again. In fact, the Roman Empire nearly fell while he was at the helm. After he abdicated (one of the few Roman rulers to leave voluntarily; most others left with a knife in their guts), Constantine rose to power in Rome. No, not the guy who was on American Idol a couple of years ago, or that crappy movie starring Keanu Reeves. No, this was the Constantine that formally installed Christianity as the state religion in Rome, thus ending the persecution of people like Alberta and her friend Faith.

So, today we celebrate Saint Alberta, forever known as the patron saint of hair clips and landlocked winter-time low pressure cells.

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