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Inspirational Reads

Not Again...

March 26, 2008

Remember that dumb bitch from Carmel, IN, who didn't like the scantily clad models at Victoria's Secret? Well, her petition to end such things has died in the hands of the Carmel city leaders, and pretty resoundedly as well at a 5-2 clip. Apparently that's not good enough for her.

Oh no, she's going to keep fighting.

I guess it wasn't enough to make sure that sex shops and adult bookstores weren't in Carmel (note to Ms. DeHeer: don't ever take the interstates in South Carolina). Instead of taking one small victory and being satisfied, we've got to attack Victoria's Secret, tabloid covers in supermarkets and models in and on magazines. I'm sure that the models hanging on the walls at Target (and let me tell you...those are some high-grade photos...if you don't have a Target, petitition your city government to get one) will also be on her hitlist. Does Carmel have a Hooters? Not if these vile people have any say in it. I'm sure the Carmel High School cheerleaders will be sporting floor-length skirts with cotton hose and perhaps wrapping their chests so that they look completely and totally androgenous. Children watch these games! We wouldn't want an impure thought crossing their minds and distracting them from the coaching calling the ref an ugly fucking jew or anything.

The sad thing is, these people won't take no for an answer. And their reasoning is so far off base that it's bordering on flat-out religious nutjobbery. Here's one of my favorite quotations from the story:

“I’m concerned about our children. Why are they having sex at 12?” Victoria’s Secret protester Lori Baxter said in an interview before the council vote March 17. “Could it be that we’ve promoted sex so long, we’ve become desensitized?”

I'll answer that for you.

Question 1: They're having sex at 12 because you're screaming at them that it's immoral to have sex at 12. Or ever. Oh, yeah, and they're having sex at 12 because it feels good. I'm going to guess, though, that not a lot of kids are having sex at 12. 14, yeah, probably. 12? Not so much. Stupid bitch.

Question 2: If you're desensitized toward sex, you're doing something wrong. Horribly. I'm going to guess that your husband doesn't talk to his buddies (if he's allowed to have them) about how you're a demon in the sack, eh Lori? Stupid bitch.

And here's my second favorite thing:

"DeHeer said she saw nothing wrong with trying to make the city flawless. She describes the Carmel where she grew up as a “perfect bubble,” and she thinks it should stay that way."


A perfect bubble?[1] Wow. Woman, get back on the Peter Pan Express and head off to Never Never Land some more. Times change. People change. What was quickly becomes passe, out-dated and ultimately archaic. You cannot just hide from something; you have to adapt to it in order to survive. That's what evolution teaches us, that we have to change and adapt or die.

But then, you probably think that evolution is a bad word, don't you? Get off your fucking high horse and realize that there's a world around you, that you have to live in it and that you can't isolate yourself in the name of "protecting your children". I'm sure little Rod and Todd won't grow up to be some kind of freaks. I'm sure that with all your coddling and cooing and tickling them under the chin, they won't get beat up at school. Hiding your kids from the outside world is assinine, at best. Here's a novel fucking concept: talk to your kids. Answer their questions. Address the issues rather than bury your head in the sand and hope that nothing untoward colors your children's perception of reality.

In other words, be a fucking parent.

[1] In case you can't tell, those girls are wearing bubble wrap. I tried to find a better picture of the Bubble Wrap Girls, but there's only so much "safe search" can do for you. And Bob and Tom don't have the BWG's pictures up anymore.

9 comments:

Chemgeek said...

That's it. This blog has too much smut. I'm canceling my subscription and moving to Carmel where I'll be protected from such things.

Ψ*Ψ said...

Karma: Her daughter will get pregnant in high school.

Frank said...

Hot damn I like the sound of this. I grew up in Detroit, which as we all know is a perfect bubble of human society and cleanliness and I turned out just fine. Unless you send your kids to a seminary when they get old enough for college, they need to experience some of this filth, otherwise they will get eaten alive. There was a girl in my biology class, freshman year...who literally DID NOT KNOW HOW BABIES WERE MADE. She kept insisting that it was done by "love" and the professor was all like, "and how the fuck do you think love fertilises and egg?"

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I know what you're saying. The other day, I left my blog front page up at work while I went to do something chemistry related in the lab. I came back, forgetting where I had left it, to jiggle my mouse and be smacked in the face with nearly naked Gisele. The disgustingness of this blog has hit a new low.

I have a friend who grew up in another one of those "bubble" communities around Indianapolis (Greenwood) AND he's a priest...AND he's one of the dirtiest bastards I know. I think we should all gather round and chant "pop that bubble! pop that bubble!"

The Ex said...

One of my coworkers gets the VS catalog delivered to our office. Can I sue her for smutting up my life?

Lisa-tastrophies said...

Bad News: Kids ARE having sex at 12. I know because I have had two students (6th and 8th graders) who are PREGNANT!!! Proof positive that they are knockin' boots. And they are doing it because 95% of the parents out there aren't PARENTING!! Smack some sense into that little romeo or you will be having grandkids before your kids are out of Jr. High! (sorry, touchy subject for the teacher in me.)
Too bad you don't have a picture of Ms. Carmel-perfect-world. Bet you dollars, she's some fat-bitch who thinks anyone below a size 6 is a slut who is bringing the world closer to hell one skinny-leg pair of jeans at a time. Yea, Jealousy is an ugly color of green bitch... now I am off to eat some HoHo's and take my xanax :-)

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Sexy-exy: Yes, she is. You should confiscate those immediately. And to prove you have taken them away from her, you should send them to me, right away.

Lisa-tastrophic: I know that some of them are having sex at 12. I'm not that ignorant. I'm just guessing that most aren't. More than when I was 12? Yeah, definitely. As many as this dumb bitch makes out? Probably not. And, I'm glad you pointed out that she's probably a body double for Jabba the Hutt, because if I had then I would have just looked insensitive and mean. But, yes, the thought did cross my mind.

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