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Inspirational Reads

Totally Blowing Stuff Up Tuesdays: Because Pumpkins Are Too Good NOT to Blow Up

November 2, 2010

Ah, Tuesday, when we appeal (somewhat irregularly) to the pyromaniac in all of us. Remember, when it comes to pyromaniacy--or sexual harassment--if you do it once, it's not a problem. Or a pattern. It's an isolated incident.

Just, bear that in mind.

And what have you provided for us today, oh wonders of the internets? What have you given us to while away thirty seconds with this morning? Could it be gourds flying apart quickly and violently, accompanied by flashes of light and near-sonic booms?

Why, yes. Yes, it could be.

But, what would make a concussive end to a pumpkin's life more satisfying? Could it be, possibly, lighting the fuse with the lit end of a cigarette? How about someone worrying aloud and off-camera about their cat-litter-bucket-cum-pumpkin stand and the state of said litter bucket at the end of this exercise? How about throwing in a ramshackle barn, crudely made dog pens, and ten miles of green garden hose wound upon a hose reel and stretched out into the yard? What about someone opining off camera, loudly and barely intelligibly that it doesn't need to be so loud and enthusiastic next time?

Dear me, could we get all of those things in one?

Yes. Yes, we could get all of those things in one.

I'm sure he hasn't practiced by blowing up meth labs or anything before.


Scope said...

I played it twice, to be sure, but is that machine gun fire at :27 & :35?

And I love the request to blow things up more sensibly next time.

MJenks said...

You're right! I forgot to mention that when I was summing up the action. There is some kind of automatic fire in the background. It just sort of blends in with everything else.

Chemgeek said...

Red Necks make me laugh.

DEZMOND said...

that's what happens when hillbillies get their hands on explosives! At least the squirrels are safe.

Pearl said...

Sensible explosions are what make this country great.



SkylersDad said...

The sensible quote sounds like it comes from a gal who can't get into a bar with a 3-tooth minimum.

LiLu said...

God bless the interwebs.

carissa said...

Ah man.. I have been MIA for too long. I miss your Blowing shit up videos. Especially the pumpkin ones. Heart.

Stacie's Madness said...

seriously, nothing against southern accents...ah shit. Souther accents alone make me giggle. Y'll