My friend's wife--and her sister!--gave me spotted dick in the can!.
I hear, however, that penisillin will clear it right up.
*chortle*
My friend, B, and I have been joking about the spotted dick for about three or four months. I won't really get into the specifics of the joke, but suffice it to say that I still laugh at adolescent jokes--as if that's a revelation to you. So, I apologize to my friends from the UK. But, you have to admit, it's a funny name.
Anyway, B apparently likes to go home and--get this!--converse with his wife about what happened during the day! He's a regular Ward Cleaver, that one. Anyway, when we first started joking about the spotted dick (*chortle*), he went home and told his lovely wife about it. So, when they were at a grocery store over the holidays, she spotted a can of the spotted dick and said, "Don't you need to buy some of that for your friends?"
Because he's a man of action, B grabbed it and said "No, I just need to get one."
He presented it to me on Monday. 
So, for those of us who don't know what spotted dick is, let me fill you in. *chortle* It's a dessert made of a dough-like suet mixture and some sort of dried fruit. Apparently, according to this article, the fruit is typically currants, but my spotted dick has syphilis raisins. Typically, it's served with custard--which is, as you know, a thick, whitish cream--and is a favorite of Ron Weasley's. Who knew? Gingers like the spotted dick! Red, I'm looking at you...but this isn't any different than any other day. So, carry on normally!
You know what's even better? My spotted dick was made in England, so it's authentic. Yessir, it was made in Middlesex! *chortle*
The absolute best part of the can, though, is how polite the wording is when it comes to discussing quality control. I quote:
"If you are not delighted with this product, simply contact us quoting the quality code on the can end and we will refund your money in full. Your statutory rights are not affected."
What a wonderfully polite people, the English.
I would be remiss if I didn't add this little bit at the end. The spotted dick is microwaveable, but you can also warm it in the can by setting it in a pan of boiling water for 30-40 minutes.
So, yes...it's best to have hot spotted dick.
*chortle*
