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Inspirational Reads

This is Why I Suck at Fantasy Football

November 13, 2006

I have two quarterbacks, Carson Palmer of Cincinnati and David Garrard of Jacksonville (picked up when Leftwich was benched).

This past weekend, Palmer played San Diego (good defense) and Garrard played Houston (terrible defense). It's a no-brainer, right? Start Garrard against the shitty Texan defense. Couple that with how spotty Cincinnati's offense has been this year, and I'm thinking I'm one savvy fantasy manager.

Final stats:

Garrard: 214 yds passing, 44 rushing, 4 interceptions
Palmer: 440 yds passing, 3 touchdowns, no interceptions.

I'm going to go over here and puke now.

Editor's Note:

I somehow managed to win the game this week, despite my clusterfuck with the quarterback position. I'm no longer the cellar-living bitch of the league. My grand victory elevated me into a tie with the guy I upended, and the tie goes to me. Yeah, baby. I'm fifth out of six now.