Follow by Email

Inspirational Reads

Continuing the Path toward Enlightenment

April 14, 2008

I spent this weekend corrupting my children, my daughter moreso than my son, though he did get himself a little taste. Let's fill in the back story first, and then we can sally forth into the wilds of the tale which I am about to craft.

Remember last weekend, when I flipped back and forth between the Star Wars prequels and the Lord of the Rings movies? And then sprinkled in a little bit of UNC getting their asses handed to them by Kansas? Right, well, there were a lot fewer North Carolina beat-downs this weekend, but the original three Star Wars movies were on Spike TV or whatever it is (I think the Lord of the Rings movies were on, too, but I resisted that temptation). And, if Star Wars is on, I've got to watch.

But this time, I had a little friend.

Yes, I let my daughter stay up Friday and Saturday night to watch Episodes IV and V. Being as today was a school day (though she's home sick), I didn't let her stay up to watch Return of the Jedi. I have it on tape, anyway, so I can complete her training at some point. The little boy, however, got really sleepy and really pissy toward nine pm, and thus he had to retire for the evenings.

Now, my daughter liked the original movie plenty. It captivated her and kept her interest. However, it was hilarious watching her get all fired up and worried toward the end of The Empire Strikes Back when Luke is facing off against Vader and Han gets frozen in carbonite. She was yelling at the television, "No Luke! Don't go in there!" and "Oh, is he going to be okay?". It was marvelous. But, somehow, we had kept the big secret from her and she was like, "What? That's his father?!?" Classic stuff.

Anyway, my wife had a friend over last night, and after her friend left, we watched the very end of Return of the Jedi (since there was nothing else on). This was the remade version, where there was that awkward, strange ending that no longer featured the Ewoks' celebration music. I'm not saying it was better; I'm not saying it was worse. I'm just saying it was awkward. My wife didn't like this new ending one bit, and she voiced her opinion as such (she loves her some Ewoks). Then she said, "You know, you should get Silent Bob [Kevin Smith] to redo these movies."

My mind went blank for a moment. And then it began to imagine the possibilities. And then I had to excuse myself from the room so I could clean up the mess in my pants. What a brilliant idea! I thought Kevin could sit down with George Lucas and be like "Look, you can do the special effects and help with the directing and you also get all the licensing and marketing. I just want to make good movies." And the fantasy was good. Very, very good.

She wondered who might be cast as the various roles. We tossed around a few names for various roles and I offered up a few story corrections that needed to take place. And then my wife suggested getting Leelee Sobieski to play the role of Padma/Amidala. And then I had to reexcuse myself from the room so I could clean up the new mess in my pants.

Yes, that's right. I have a crush on both Kevin Smith and Leelee Sobieski. Sue me.


Rider said...

Good call on Kevin Smith. I'd like to see Episodes I through III redone with directors like Smith, Sam Raimi, and Peter Jackson. Imagine the possibilities. I am very disappointed when I hear kids say the most recent trilogy are better movies.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Peter Jackson did pop to mind, but I couldn't get past Kevin Smith. It's too perfect. We already know he's a fan, and Mewes could probably pull off the role of a stoned Jedi.

We need to make this happen and fast.

Lisa-tastrophies said...

I think Leelee should play Princess Lea...They both look good without a bra and we all know that in the future bras have ceased to exist. (Something all teen aged boys learned five minutes into Star Wars)

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Only problem is, the events in Star Wars took place a long time ago...

Frank said...

They need to cast someone not so nerdy to play Luke. I know he's supposed to be kind of a scrawny noobish character, but Mark Hamil looks like the kind of guy who got shoved into lockers in high school.

Also, in response to rider: The new trilogy made me die a little inside with each movie.