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Inspirational Reads

A Few of My Favorite Things...

December 6, 2010

As you may have picked up on here over the long has it been? Four? Yeah, let's go with four years, is that I love to make fun of how inept weather forecasters are. A lot of my vitriol is directed toward the boobs on the Weather Channel--Jeff Morrow, I'm looking at you. Not really. You have a huge head and it angers me. But the rest of you are on my list.

But not you, Maria LaRosa. I couldn't be angry with you even if you ate live kittens on national television...which might actually be good theater. Admit it. You'd tune in just to see how that went.

Anyway, I was watching the local forecast on Friday to get an idea about how the weekend would shape up since I was planning on doing some outdoorsy type work and putting up Christmas lights. That's when I heard the local forecast say there was a slight chance for some flurries or some light snow on Saturday night during the overnight, but any accumulations would be confined to the areas near the Virginia border.

Oh cool, I thought, A little bit of snow would set a lovely background for the holiday season.

I even told my wife. "They're calling for some flurries on Saturday night. Just to let you know." She had to work, so I thought I would warn her. We both then laughed, because, if they call for snow, it's more likely that it'll be 90 degrees and sunny. Even at night.

Saturday arrived and I took my son with me and we went and got our hair cut, we did some Christmas shopping for my wife, and then we grabbed some lunch--McDonalds, the Lunch of Champions! Well, he's a champ. I'm a tubby white guy hurtling toward middle-age.

On the way home, I noticed some shit flying by the window. "Hey, buddy!" I said, "I think that's snow!"

"It is! It is snow!" he said in his gleeful, charged-up on McDonalds six-year-old voice! "Oh, it's going to be awesome!"

See, told you he's a champ.

I didn't want to crush his little heart, though, by telling him that the few flurries we saw sail past the windshield would probably be it for the snow. It stopped after a few seconds, and he wondered where the snow went. I explained it to him that there's probably some bands of snow moving through the clouds, and he understood.

We made it home with only a few more flurries and got inside. I started up another load of laundry, and saw a few more intermittent flakes float past the window, so I ran into the living room to open the blinds so that the kids could see it. I returned to my domestic chores and looked up to see actual snow falling from the sky. No more of this flurry shit. This was actual snow.

I went back into the living room and pointed it out to the kids. They were enthused and watched it for a few seconds and then I went to make my daughter some lunch (she's a champ, too, but I didn't bring her any lunch because it would have been cold and everyone knows that cold McDonalds only tastes good when you're hungover and ALREADY filled with remorse). The kids were talking about playing in the snow and my heart sank because, well, we weren't getting any kind of measurable snowfall out of this. The weather men had forecasted a few flurries, and, to be honest, I was surprised it snowed at all.

Imagine my further surprise when I dished up a bowl of soup for my daughter and saw that the backyard was white-ish already.

Holy Shit! I thought, This could be for real!

And, it was. We ended up with about two inches of snow on the ground, which the kids got to play in and enjoy. I do feel kind of sad, however, because if I wasn't there for them to pelt with snowballs, I don't think they'd get any enjoyment out of life.

The truly funny thing about the snow shower event was that the local hacks were still on the television, saying that there might be a slight chance of snow, but there shouldn't be any accumulation. The National Weather Service then popped up with a Winter Weather Advisory (because if there's anything that frightens Southerners more than diversity, it's snow), and yet the locals were saying that accumulations would only be significant in the counties bordering Virginia.


*sigh* It was fun, however. I had forgotten how great it is to look out the window in the gloaming of nightfall during a solid snow event, when the edges of everything sort of blur into the background and the flakes drift through the picture. It's quite lovely.

Not as lovely as Maria LaRosa wearing a pair of fuck-me boots, but lovely nonetheless.


BeckEye said...

Huh? Drops of rain frozen into ice crystals? I shall harness their energy and rule the world!

MJenks said...

No! Stop! I wish to rule you!

Bev said...

So, you do laundry, heat up soup, AND frolic in fresh snowfall?

Be still my heart! <3

SkylersDad said...

It was all great as usual, but the "homina" made me laugh out loud on a conference call! Damn you man!!

Wynn said...

We have like two feet of snow right now, I wouldn't be surprised if there's more. Nowadays, around snowy times, the weather people are usually right, with their "If you don't HAVE to be on the roads, don't" echoing through the television. Maybe I just live in a place where the weather is -really- reliable, hmm.

DEZMOND said...

it's strange how you haven't discovered naked forecast and news so far :)

Wynn said...

And, of course, by "reliable" I mean "If they promise shitty weather, it's probably gonna be shitty weather and the entire country's trains will grind to a halt. In the middle of nowhere. For hours. With no possibility to escape.

Sully said...

I've opened my front door and seen nothing but an imprint of my front door made of snow.... and I left the shovel in the shed.

You're getting off light man.

Moooooog35 said...

It hasn't snowed here yet in New England.

Normally this is okay, since I'd have to snowblow and shovel but since the divorce I'm in an apartment and I NO LONGER HAVE TO DO THAT SHIT HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

You lose some, you win some.

Small victories, my friend.

Scope said...

We got some nice "snow man" making snow on Saturday, but the temps dropped into the teens, so now the slush has turned to ice.

Oh well, my stepdaughter got to have fun playing in the snow. She's been whining for it for weeks. (I think she gets it from her mother.) :-)

carissa said...

It snows here like once every 2 years. I'm jealous. But also cold so not so much. I like my 60 degree Decembers. Booya.

Hart Johnson said...


because if there's anything that frightens Southerners more than diversity, it's snow *snort*

Oh dear... Glad your kids got to enjoy a little snow! You've beat us. Michigan has a measly inch at the moment, but I'm sure more will come...

Anonymous said...

J'ai appris des choses interessantes grace a vous, et vous m'avez aide a resoudre un probleme, merci.

- Daniel