My Son the Jedi, Part II

In keeping with the Star Wars theme this week, I thought I'd share this story. It probably should be called "My Jedi Children", but I've already got one post about how my son has started his training, so I figured I'd continue it.

We're a family who unabashedly shops at Target. I love the store. I loved the store before it went through it's big make-over. When I was a kid, the store in Huntington, IN, always had the best selection of Transformers and G.I.Joe figures going, additionally their CDs were about a dollar cheaper than anyone else's. Plus, for a while, my girlfriend in high school worked there, and I could go see her under the guise of "shopping for stuff" as my parents didn't really like the notion of me dating, whether it was in general or just her, I'm not sure (they weren't too keen on the girl from Lafayette, either, so I'm thinking it was a general thing). For some reason, they thought a 16-year-old boy would be more interested in hanging with his annoying little brother than with a nubile young woman. Life in small town America can be so quaint from time to time.

I'm sorry. I should change the title of the blog to "A Crown of Digressions".

The other night, I needed one or two things from Target, so I packed the kids in the car and we headed out. I picked up the band-aids that I needed (or sterile, self-adhesive bandages or whatever they must be called in order to avoid copyright infringements) as well as some boys pull-ups. My children then asked if we could go look at toys. From the description above (minus the parts about girlfriends and dating), you can tell that I myself always enjoyed the toy aisles at Target, and so I feel the need to allow my children the same little joys in life.

We rarely buy them toys just for the hell of it. Usually, they get big hauls for birthdays and Christmas, and then the occasional Easter/Valentines small present and maybe something in the fall. They have a lot of toys, but they don't get swamped with them, which is good, because we're already outgrowing the house (there I go, digressing again). So, a trip up and down the toy aisles (and I do mean ALL of the aisles) is a treat for them.

We were traveling down the aisles when we were fast nearing the end. We start with the outdoor toys and work our way forward, skipping the baby toys and heading right for Thomas the Train and Bob the Builder, working through Barbie and Disney Princesses, and finishing up with Matchbox and Action Figures. There's something for everyone in there.

Well, upon the final aisles is the Star Wars merchandise. One thing that they've come up with is a small lightsaber where you can press a button and flick your wrist to "eject" a plastic blade. Oh, how I wish they had had these while I was a young lad and wouldn't be called nerd for owning one. Perhaps it would have helped keep away the Townies in college (man, you're nice to those people once and the next thing you know, you're drunk, in the back of a van, playing truth or dare with them...sheesh), or at least I could have had more fun tormenting Giles/Captain Rummy on tequila nights.

One of these new-fangled lightsabers was out, as in the blade was extended. It was a replica of Mace Windu's, and my kids both marveled at its purpleness. I then grabbed an Obi-Wan model (I assume so, due to the color) and flicked it to extend the blue blade. Again, they thought this was pretty cool. They then both grabbed one and started fighting one another. Nice. After a few seconds, I made them put them back. Now they both want lightsabers for their birthday. My daughter, of course, wants the purple one (I did not check to see if "BAMF" was inscribed on the handle anywhere...and if it isn't, I'm sure as hell doing it myself) and my son wants a red one (which, of course, makes him evil). I'm all for arming them with the elegant weapons of a more civilized age (and not one of those clumsy, random weapons that every hack can use), but I don't know if Mrs. Jedi Master (aka the little woman) is for it. Since their birthdays will be spent with my in-laws, this doubles the desire to arm the children with presents they wouldn't approve of.

Incidentally, one of the things I would have done to make the Star Wars prequels better was to have a wider array of colors of lightsabers. That's just me, though. I appreciate variety. Green, blue and red, while all nice colors, just don't cut it. And, of course, purple. I always thought orange would have been a prime color.