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Inspirational Reads

Do Not Collect $200

June 9, 2008

I'm going to give you a second to go back and re-read the answer to Lisa's question I typed out for the Q&A. Go on. Go read it.

There. Done? Okay, let's proceed.

No sooner had I typed out that answer and posted in the internet than the mailman arrived and brought to me my manuscript. Was I bummed? Yeah. But then I read the letter that the agent sent along with it, and I got peeved. I took the manuscript pages out of the envelope and looked at them, and I got flat out pissed.

Why? Well, here's where I had you go back and re-read the last question from the Q&A, volume 1. The guy that I had originally submitted my book to, Literary Agent A, had been interested in the book and wanted to read the first few pages. But then, without warning, Literary Agent A left the agency, and Literary Agent B was hired on. Apparently, Literary Agent B's first task was to write up some lousy letter saying "Oh, this doesn't meet the high standard of excellence that I need to pursue for the agency."

Only problem with this little line of bullshit? Literary Agent B never read my stuff. The pages were as pristine as the day I slid them into the envelope. So, basically, I and everyone else who had submitted with Literary Agent A, got screwed by Literary Agent B. Literary Agent A left the company to go be with his family, which I'm not going to criticize as I fully understand that. I just want to stress that I'm cool with that. What I'm not cool with is the way Literary Agent B went about handling the situation. At least, you know, pretend to look at the stuff. But no, instead, just write a letter saying that the material isn't good enough and send it back without so much as a cursory glance. What a guy.

Suffice it to say (and this may sound like sour grapes, but it's not), I really don't feel bad about not getting that agency to represent me. If that's the way they're going to do business, then I really don't want them trying to find me a publisher. So, it's back to square one for me. I'll start doing the searches here in a little bit, but I thought I should offer you and update on what has gone down since Saturday afternoon.

I've looked up Literary Agent A, and I've found his myspace page. I'm thinking about sending him a note through myspace to see if he's still in the business and if he'd still like to take a look at The Boar War. If he doesn't want to see it, or he's out of the game, that's cool. From what I've read (I did some extra research), this guy is a class act and is well-liked and respected, especially by those whom he reps. That's the kind of guy or gal I want to work with, someone I can think of as a friend but who is going to get everything they can for me.

Naturally, I'm heartbroken, and the only way to fix that is pictures of Leelee Sobieski culled from the internet.Ah.

7 comments:

Jidai said...

I can't comprehend how angry you are. I'm not sure how it all works in the literary business other than agents, but that's harsh.

Yeah, sadly I'm going to say this happens all the time in my business. I've seen scripts rejected and shredded for having an "ugly cover page." When I was at NBC I literally saw something like, open package, take out script, look at cover, put script in shredder. Of course that's rare, but still a little cold hearted.

Ψ*Ψ said...

That's rough. Hope it works out sometime in the near future. :(s

Chemgeek said...

Sorry to hear that, Matt.
I sure hope things work out.
I know your blog readers are pulling for you.

Noel said...

Sadly man, that sort of thing happens a LOT in agencies. There's a lot of turnover and a lot of shifting around.

I do recommend trying to contact the agent again. And yes, you have the perfect right to be pissed at Agent B.

Rider said...

Literary limbo. That blows, man. Keep plugging away. I'm sure you've looked into different ways of getting your stuff to Literary Agent B's desk through trickery and shenanigans. Perhaps a FedEx with your manuscript inside a "Blue Letter" envelope? Hudsucker Proxy, anyone? "It's a blue letter!"

Lisa-tastrophies said...

OHHHH I am so pissed at this!! Send me agent b's mailing address I have some serious whoop-ass letter writing I need to do. What the hell does he know anyway? He probably thinks that Fun With Dick And Jane is a literary master piece. OHHHH I really have to find my box of Ho-Hos now before I hurt someone!!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Maybe he doesn't include Jane in the festivities.

Wow. That was mature. But cathartic!