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Inspirational Reads


June 14, 2008

Here's some advice for you, offered up free by yours truly. I'm just that fucking kindhearted.

If you want to boost your blog viewership, you should definitely pop in a link describing your disdain for shit-tastic cat art. I went through the hits and views over the night, and for the first time in a long time, neither "belly button torture sex" nor "Betsy Hagar pictures" topped the way people found me. I was stunned. Apparently, links to my blog are being tossed all over Shitty Cat Art Woman's livejournal pages, as all of her friends have stopped by. I'm guessing, thankfully, that the presence of the real Wizard Cat is the only thing that has kept them largely at bay. Either that, or it's the fact that I'm sitting here topless right now.

To that end, I'm keeping Wizard Cat around for a while. I'm going to try him out as the Blog Mascot. He may not be as handsome as Boxter nor as internationally renowned as Fernando, but Wizard Cat did pass his both his Potions and Charms O.W.L.s with flying colors. Plus, he's hours worth of fun if you give him a catnip mouse and then start dancing a laser pointer around on the floor.

Besides, I've long styled myself the "King of Thistles" on various internet outlets...such as yahoo mail and...uh...Runescape. And, every good king has a wizard for a chief adviser. If it works for the King of Id and King Arthur, I, too, shall drink of the wizarding advisory Kool-Aid.

Speaking of King of Thistles...I haven't touched it. I haven't even been working on King of Storms much lately. In fact, I haven't been working on much of anything lately. Feel free to blame it on my inherent laziness; I'll blame it simply on internet-based copies of Dice Wars. This isn't to say that I haven't done anything on it. It's amazing how you can plan battles and dialogue while playing Dice Wars. I haven't written or edited anything, but I have been doing things that don't require much in the way of putting letters on a screen. By the way, remember that whole "Meet the Characters" thing? Yeah, we'll be getting back to that soon enough. Damned basketball tournaments...To that end, I've kind of told myself to get King of Shadows edited and together without the major rewrites by the end of the month. I've also got the papers all sorted out to mail to the new agents for querying. I'll keep you updated there. Naturally, my uncanny excellent planning ability has me getting everything ready for mailing on a Sunday. Too bad I wasn't really good and have everything ready by July 4th. Brilliant, me.

Of course, all of these issues are now moot. Thanks, Wizard Cat.


Lisa-tastrophies said...

Hip-Hip-Hurrah for Wizard Cat!! I am glad to see he has worked him wizard magic and you have succumbed to his You-will-now-make-me-your-leader spells.
And it's a good thing the Shitty Kitty people are staying away. I still have a can of whoop ass left over from my anger towards Agent B and I am waiting to use it!!! I would hate to have to get all medieval on them with my Wizard kittens.
Last, how do I make my blog searchable? Other than write and click post, I haven't really figured out the whole blog reader thing. Any helpful tips would be greatly appreciated... cause you know everyone needs to read my incessant rambling :-)

Frank said...

Right now I get a lot of hits from people looking for directions on how to make sex toys. Perhaps if I mentioned shitty cat art more often, I might be able to change my...uh...readership demographics just a bit.

Anonymous said...

Allright, just a few things...

1. Cats are evil. They are the soul of Al Jahaz leaving the body. I know you are not a doctrinaire Muslim, but still...

2. Men who like cats are roundly thought of as gay. Now, as a militant supporter of the rights of singles and others who are marginalized by marriage, I think it's a fair point. You may not, but oh well...

3. Garfield was a cat and an asshole. Odie was a dog and not so. Do you question the judgement of a man from YOUR home state (Jim Davis was from Muncie). It is a nationalist appeal, but they are often powerful.

4. Ultimately, I guess, what you
do is your own. Just don't involve me, m'kay?

Earl of Rosslare, County Donegal, HOL Member for the Opposition (Cons.)

minijonb said...

i will have to rethink my policy of my blog being a cat-free zone. thanks!

Pfangirl said...

Inspired by your post I went to check out the keyword search stats relating to my blog.

I was shocked to discover just one - "big pissing". Very disturbing!