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Happy Saint Kevin's Day!!!

June 3, 2008

Today is June the 3rd, on which we celebrate noted mysogynist Kevin of Glendalough. Kevin's real name was Coemgen or Caoimhin depending on whether you spoke Old Irish or Irish (respectively). Or, it was Coemgenus, if you spoke Latin. Or, apparently, Kevin, if you are from anywhere else in the world--especially New Jersey.

His claim to fame involves being the Abbot at Glendalough, which can be found in County Wicklow upon the Emerald Isle. He also built seven churches in the Glendalough area, which eventually became a pilgrimmage site for the Irish. Apparently, Kevin was also a noted misanthrope, disdaining human company, especially that of the fairer sex. It was even said that he pushed one particularly amorous lass into a bed of nettles to get her away from him. Oh, those Irish girls: so amorous, so insatiable.

The Irish actually used to describe any man who had a cold demeanor toward women as being like Kevin of Glendalough...or whatever the fuck his name was. To further deepen his legend, Kevin is considered the Patron Saint of Blackbirds, thus explaining why one of those little bastards came upon the maid in the garden and snipped off her nose.

All that mysogeny and ornithophilia apparently paid off, as Kevin lived to the ripe old age of 120. Aside from blackbirds and Glendalough, St. Kevin is also the Patron Saint of Echinoderms, topical ointments, and internet-based games in which people try to link other saints to him in under six connections.

6 comments:

Rider said...

he pushed one particularly amorous lass into a bed of nettles to get her away from him

What was he, six years old?

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

He just wanted her to feel all prickly, rather than feel a prick.

Jidai said...

My god, I love this post. I am literally in love with this post. Ireland always has the best saints.

Frank said...

One of these days, I'll be a saint, and people will tell stories of my love of processed pork products, shameless flirting, and my ability to wiggle my ears one at a time. One of these days.

Lisa-tastrophies said...

I'm going to show this to my New Guy. He's Black Irish (try saying that to someone and having them moronically ask you if he is black) and he seems to be of the impression that the Irish invented sex. Now I have an excuse (and a saint) to say "not to night dear".
:-)
I love these posts. They are so informative and too fun to read. How's the book coming?

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Jidai: Is this the first Saints entry you've read?

Frank: Saint Frank of Bacon does have a ring to it, doesn't it?

Lisa: The Irish didn't invent sex, they just perfected the "get the chick so drunk she'll do anything" method.