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Inspirational Reads

Friday Morning Latin Lesson, Vol. LXXII

June 4, 2010

I'm going to do something today that I've never done before on a Latin Lesson: be funny! recycle a photo.

It's true. Last week's photo probably didn't fit the phrase perfectly, mostly because those three were already smiling. But, still, you could almost say that that girl in the middle's smile was a little forced, and that guy on the right is trying a bit too hard to be gay happy. And the girl on the left...with those mud-caked melons...well, we're all happy to see her.

I've been a little ranty this week, too, and I'd apologize if it didn't involve a lot of swearing and some things that were mildly amusing. For the record, it's still pretty fucking hot in my bedroom, and the corner where the desk sits seems to be in this permanently fucked position temperature-wise. If it's cold outside, I'm turtling while sitting here. If it's hot, well, the coinpurse is hanging mighty low.

Thank my friend, Dr. Assy, for that particular turn-of-phrase. Brilliant, isn't it? That's why he's a doctor and...well, I shan't go there. Not today.

Anyway, I'll keep this shit short and sweet, so that we can get to the revival of dead languages already! I've written a short tableau for our three muddy heroes from last week. It should prove--if not entertaining--perhaps useful if you find yourself in the forum or the public baths or some such.

Tu! A dextra! Fugite in malam crucem!

Pronounced: "Too! Ah daix-trah! Fyoo-gee-tay in mah-lahm croo-came!"

Translation in the hovertext!

Ah, em istuc rectius. Nunc, dominae, pro me saltate!

Pronounced: "Ah, em ees-took rake-tee-oose. Noonk, doh-mee-nye, proh may sahl-tah-tay!"

Translation again in the hovertext.

Clearly, I need to give up this whole concept of "novel writing" and just write a screenplay in Latin. Am I right? Damn right I am.

Anyway, you can clip little pieces of these things out for use in other aspects of your everyday life. I tried to break the lines up so that you could lift what you need from the Latin and use it.

Come back next week when I try something else completely new! I'm hoping that it works. We'll see...

Also, I might go back to doing writing updates on the weekends again, and/or work in those silly-ass words that I keep wanting to use in writing or something else a little different that I have rattling around in my head, but probably is something better suited to the weekend when not a lot of people read anyway. But, I'd kind of like to get back to posting nearly everyday and hopefully I'll be able to shuffle off these feelings of writer's block. Whatevs. I've got muddy women to watch dance. Valete!


erin said...

ha! unprecedented amounts of humor spew from you today.

I, on the other hand, woke up with no voice and a permanent scowl.

See me scowling?

Roo said...

My Latin teacher in high school never made class this fun, or informative.

<3's for you and your muddy women.

Pearl said...

As always, you are one of my favorite freaks. :-)

I never leave here without a smile on my face...


Tracie said...

I'm stealing Dr. Assy's little phrase for future use. Putting it in my little notebook and everything.

Sully said...

Just out of random curiosity... How do you say, "I'm a big duck" in Latin?

It's just that its the most disarming thing to say in any language.

MJenks said...

@ erin: Well, thank you for the compliment on the "unprecedented" amount of funny I produced today. I'm guessing "any" in unprecedented.

And, I reserve my scowl-sensing for when I write something about my wife. To scowl-sense from anyone else would go against my vows.

@ Roo: If it's any consolation, neither did my French teacher. Although, we tended to push the envelope with her...

My muddy women and I thank you.

@ Tracie: He brought it up one day while we were fishing, and it's stuck with me ever since. He was hoping that we'd meet some old man who asked us if it was hot enough for us, and he was going to respond with the coinpurse hanging low.

Unfortunately, we met no old men that day...

@ Sully: Anas magnus sum.

And, wow, did I learn something interesting when I was looking for the Latin word for "duck".

But, we'll have to save that for another Friday...

words...words...words... said...

I would just like to say that the girl on the left has the most perfect body I've ever seen. Yum.

Dr. Assy said...

Yes that Dr. Assy has been known to turn a good phrase now and then. The coinpurse hanging low is a classic.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

its like Baywatch for pigs..

corticoWhat said...

Nice (.)(.)

A novus via facio vestri dentibus vultus niveus.

(A new way to make your teeth look whiter).

kyknoord said...

Holy shit! Looks like I'm going to have to go back to 2006 to catch up on my Latin.

MJenks said...

@ Words^3: The only thing that's wrong with that girl is that she doesn't have red hair.

Oh, and she's wearing clothes.

@ Dr. Assy: And now, your brilliance will forever be immortalized upon the internet.

@ Candy: I thought Baywatch was already for pigs...

@ Cortico: They are fine.

Excellent interjection of Latin into the Latin lesson! And, I have to say, this way is a lot better than that whole swishing your mouth out with piss method.

@ kyknoord: First, thanks for stopping by. And, if you're THAT interested, there's a link on the side that should tie in with almost every one of my Latin lessons. It's only a little more than a year, so it's not all the way back to 2006.

Thanks for the commentary!