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Friday Morning Latin Lesson, Volume XXIV

May 15, 2009

Ever get fed up with something? Ever really get fed up and want to tell someone exactly how you feel? Well, I know I've never felt this way, but you folks are all a lot more hot-headed than I am. I mean, I haven't punched anyone in the throat in a long time. Like, two days. Or something.

So, yeah, we're telling people what we think of them today. But we're classy sophisticates, so we should spruce our swearing up a little bit by filtering them through a dead language. And as Latin is a Classical Language (as well as dead), then let's trot out this classical way to tell someone off:

Futue te ipsum et caballum tuum!

Pronounced: "Foo-too-aye tay eep-soom et cah-bah-loom too-oom!"

Translation in the hovertext. Yee haw!

Okay, so here's a little bonus Latin lesson for you. The infinitive form for "to fuck" in Latin is futuere (foo-too-air-aye). The Romans were pretty specific about how and where they'd put their dicks, so the term "to fuck" means to penetrate something, rather than the act of being penetrated. So, in Latin, you can't simply say "Fuck me!" You have to say something like "you should fuck" and then you'd throw in the "me". So, "Fuck me" would be something like "Me futuas." Awesome, no?


Sass said...


I have a sneaking suspicion I would punch someone in the throat, and then inform them that they should fuck me.

It could get very confusing, and there could be a big mess.

Literally, and figuratively speaking.

Eric said...

Wow, there's some great epigraphy for my new marble slab! *sharpening chisel*

Lana said...

throat punching can be very theraputic, i know all about it. and after all those years of latin, i never knew futuere. silly romans and their grammar, so specific!

Scope said...

But look at the horsey's pretty pink socks!

Man, I need to go back to sleep.

Moooooog35 said...


How you doin'?

Cowguy said...

I just recorded this to my little memo pad recorder thing on my cell phone. It's gonna be infinitely easier for me to just put it on speaker phone and play it for the people in my life that need it.

Thanks Jenks. You're the bestest.

Sass... I just don't know.... lol

Sass said...

moooooog ~ Um...I'm fine. How are you?

Nej said...

Awesome, yes.

I just got the strangest look from someone walking by my office, while I was saying this weeks' lesson out loud.

I love that!

coolred38 said...

So the point of this lesson is that men have been able to work "fuck" into any sentence since the time of the Romans?


btw being in the middle do you say camel instead of horse...just wondering.

red said...

They're using Latin on Lost so it must not be completely dead. I mean, Richard Alpert still uses and he can't really die, so yeah.

or something.

Fancy Schmancy said...

I needed that, thanks. It would be illegal to punch the person in the throat that I want to right now, but the upside is that it will be less illegal in 3 years and 2 months. Especially if I can get him to hit me first. In the meantime, I'll just keep repeating your Latin phrase under my breath, along with the mantra "I am NOT an abusive mother, I am NOT an abusive mother"...

Soda and Candy said...

Ahahahahaha! Thanks so much, I needed this phrase this week.

Throat-punchingly yours,

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Can't wait to use this in my next heated discussion with the husband. Should be interesting!!

sheadorama said...

Hi TK,

Nothing to add to this particular blog, just wanted to say hello. I finally managed to find your blog again haha.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

I try to stay away from sentences where both penetration and horses are involved.