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Inspirational Reads

Friday Morning Latin Lesson, Volume XXVII

June 5, 2009

Fear is a very natural human emotion. It's a basic necessity for survival, ranking right up there with food, water, shelter and sex. Basically, if it can kill you, you have instincts that tell you to run like hell from it. Otherwise, the tiger people would be ruling the earth, and we'd all be kibble.

Most people are afraid of spiders or heights or thunder or cougars or some other silly shit. Me? Well, I'm full-frontal awesome, so I'm not afraid of anything. Well, no, that's not exactly true. I'm afraid of shitty movies. Oh look, an ad for Year One. Run away, run away like a Frenchman!

Okay, I'm kidding. Except for that whole cheese-eating surrender monkey part. However, there is one thing that haunts my dreams and keeps me from sleeping soundly at night. It's a creature so vile, so putrid, so other-worldly terrifying that its very name sends shivers up and down your spine. It takes a wise man to admit when he's afraid, and I'll admit when I'm afraid in the only dead language that allows one to sound profound...even when your voice squeaks out of your throat like a little girl's.

"Nihil nisi caprimulgus timeo."

Pronounced: "Nee-heel nee-see cah-pree-mool-goose teem-aye-oh."

Translation in the hovertext!

15 comments:

Sass said...

I was looking on eBay, once, for something...and ended up in the "Weird stuff" page. Someone was selling a door with the image of a chupacabra in it.

I'll have it shipped to your house. ;)

Scope said...

A former coworker of mine had a 6 toed cat that he called "chupe".

Eric said...

I once had some scary Mexican food. It is now referred to as the chalupacabra.

Walter said...

Yeah, that's on frightening thing.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

What the hell is that thing?
Should I know?

Lana said...

it's like a bigfoot right?? i have pretty big feet so it can't be too scary.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

You're getting all crazy now with latin translations to not one, but TWO languages. Ay carumba! I don't know if that's actual spanish or just good pop culture.

Fancy Schmancy said...

I'd be more scared of that very real cougar in your backyard than a legend of a blood sucking coyote with a bad case of mange.

Lostinspace said...

heyyy....isn't that the Scooby Doo Chupacabra?

Margo said...

what's with the mythical creature theme today? I must have missed the memo. Very profound stuff. Must run like a frenchman and lock doors :)

Missy said...

Fear is THE worst human emotion! I am not afraid of anything really, but clowns kind of freak me out!
I think I dated the "thing."

Mr. Condescending said...

the jersey devil is scarier than the chupaloser

Nej said...

I have a friend that does online video episodes of a story about good old Chupacabra. I must have lead a sheltered life previous to that, because I'd never heard of the beast. Had to look it up. :-)

Alaina said...

I JUST heard about those when I was down in Texas. Weird.

Lisa-tastrophies said...

I'm with you on the Year One fear. That any any movie where Will Ferrell feels it necessary to be naked. Seriously, dude, that is the stuff nightmares are made of.