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Inspirational Reads

Friday Morning Latin Lesson, Vol. XLI

September 25, 2009

Well, the fall season for television is upon us. Pardon me for a second. *gaping yawn*

Where was I? Oh, right, television. Hey, look, a butterfly!

I don't think I could give a damn less if I tried when it comes to the new season of the network television shows. Pretty much, they all suck. Is Dirty Jobs starting back up soon? What? Not until October sixth? Mother of fuck.

It used to be that I would watch Heroes because, seriously, I'm pretty much their intended demographic--nerdy comic-book fan type. However, I grew tired of their time-travel antics during the second season when Hiro kept popping back and forth in time to meddle with his feudal-era hero. When they went back to the fucking around in the time stream last year, I gave up. It's not so much that I can't keep up with the plot, I just find it tedious. Also, I got a little tired of the whole "everyone's related" plotline that they were putting together with Claire and the Petrellis and Sylar and all that. Ho-hum. Wake me when they're done with this Cyclops/Havok/Corsair/Adam-X bullshit.

Maybe I'm just too much of an X-Men purist (which I've been accused of, recently even, when I lambasted the Wolverine movie for being fucking horrible), but I just found the whole thing a little too contrived and perhaps a bit overworked (coming from a guy who wrote a long and involved time-travel story for an assignment in college). Plus, aside from Hayden Panetierre's cleavage, most of the characters on Heroes are rather pedestrian. They have these incredible powers, and yet very few of them want to plumb the depths of their abilities or explore their weaknesses.

All that aside, I think the part that pissed me off is when they took the sexy Irish lass to the future and then sort of just let her disappear. I do love me a good accent.

Anyway, when it comes to Heroes this season, I'll just yawn and say the following:

"Non gratias tibi ago. Id salivit pistrica."

Pronounced: "Nohn grah-tee-ahss tee-bee ah-goh. Id sahl-ee-weet pees-treeck-ah."

Translation in the hovertext!

Interestingly enough, I discovered that salire, the infinitive form of the verb "to jump, to leap", can also be translated as "to mount for copulation" (applicable for males only--sorry ladies, you can't mount, only be mounted). Those Romans, they had a word for everything!

Now, if you'll excuse me, soliturus sum meam uxorem.

[EDIT]: Sorry, guys. I had originally translated "they have jumped the shark", but I decided I didn't like that. So, I reworked the phrase to say "it has jumped the shark", but I forgot the "id" part of the phrase (which translates as "it"). I just realized that and fixed it.

23 comments:

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Dosen't it just suck when your favorite jumps shark???

Sometimes it not safe to go into the water...

otherworldlyone said...

Boys get all the cool phrases and shit. They get to use "mount" and "I threw her the bone" etc. Sigh.

Did you see the Ole Miss vs. Cocks came last night?? WOOT! (You're the only person on here that's close enough to my state. Which means I can heckle you about football.)

God said...

I hate it when someone talks about shows I haven't [yet] watched. Claire? Petrellis? Hayden Pantie's cleavage? Wha?

All my co-workers are into Heroes, being all nerds like I am. But man, I just can't bring myself to watch shows where people have awesome powers and I don't.

Cowguy said...

Our Cockapoo (no... not with feathers) Stella currently is saliring like a rabbit with our cat Buddy on the front porch.

Buddy seems bored with the saliring.

Moooooog35 said...

Women can't mount?

I can hear the strap-on lesbos writing to you now.

Sounds like anger.

Bev said...

Heroes lost me at the exact same point. It's a shame because for season 1 I was hooked, but I agree with your assessment of the shark jumpage.

corticoWhat said...

Fonzi would be proud! His legacy lives on.

Elliott said...

Never watched Heroes, I'm hooked on too many shows already. And since I get sick of shows rather easily, it's tough to keep the ideas fresh so I keep watching.

What? So I'm fickle.

Elliott said...

And Cowguy, our cockapoo only mounts small children. Damn dog.

Margo said...

my husband and I watch Dexter and Breaking Bad, but only on DVD. I can't stand being at the mercy of a schedule or a dvr. Oh, and can too! Can't we just add an "io" or something . guess not/

Eric said...

Someone should make a series specifically about shark jumping, you know, for obviouls reasons.

JenJen said...

Wait. Moooooog35 and Mjenks...
Why can't a woman mount? I'm confused. If I can be mounted (go ahead with the snarky comments, I can take it.) why can't women just sorta, get on?
Sexist Latin!

Nej said...

This year, we have to chose from Heroes, House, and Top Gear for the Monday 7:00 central time slot (DVR recording).

Heroes lost.

Frank said...

I only watch the Travel Channel and the Discovery Channel. I'll take Anthony Bourdain or Mike Rowe or the Mythbusters over Heroes any day.

BeckEye said...

I forget, do you watch Always Sunny? Because we're only 2 episodes in to the new season and my gut is nearly busted.

Tennyson ee Hemingway said...

I haven't watched Heroes for ages. Now, I don't have to. Thanks for that.

Soda and Candy said...

I haven't decided whether I'll keep going with Heroes. My husband is like "Really? They're really keeping Sylar after THAT?" He wishes they would just come up with a new villain already.

Raine said...

Everyone has been asking me if I watch that show and I smugly reply that I dont have tv. They smugly reply that it is on the internet. Ig - gotta find a new excuse. The internet is killing all the good ones

~E said...

DVR dude. You will never be Dirty Job-less again.

And you know me...I loooooove me some Mike Rowe.

JennyMac said...

no mounting? Perfect. One less thing to do.

Jill Pilgrim said...

My goal for today is to find a way to use the latin word for "mounting." I'm going to a baby shower, so I think there will be plenty of opportunities.

Wonderful said...

I'm with you, fall tv is just the same as spring tv, or summer tv, or any tv really. I'm content as long as I can watch my favorite shows online.

Lisa-tastrophies said...

Man, I hate it when my favorite shows jump the shark. Alias, Lost, Desperate Housewives...
Now I just watch reality television because people who will forsake their dignity for 5 seconds of fame should be eaten by sharks :-)