Death from Above!

I've detailed it several times before, about how truly awful and terrible our weather forecasters are down here in North By God Carolina. Usually, my gripes surround the inability to predict winter weather, typically because a snowy day--or the mere mention of snow--is enough to bring businesses and schools to a halt. I then get a free day off. I think we'll all agree that any day I get off is a good day.

*ahem*

I learned this past weekend that the weather forecasters are equally inept when it comes to predicting rain events. The forecast for this past weekend was originally supposed to feature highs in the upper 80s and storms all weekend long. The weather turned out to be a balmy 82 with cloudless skies for the better part of the weekend. A few places perhaps on the fringe of the "forecast area" saw some rain. And by a few, I mean one. The rest of us basked in glorious spring weather.

Not that I'm necessarily complaining, mind. Weather like this causes the skirts to go higher and the tops to not only plunge lower, but to also become strappier. This makes trips to the local Target, which is conveniently wedged between two large universities, more tolerable, if not pleasurable.

However, I'm thinking I should expand my bubble of disdain toward climactic precognizance to include the higher-ups on the weatherman totem pole. Now, I will preface this by saying that the forecast for tonight did mention the threat of rain, with slight chance of spawning a rumble of thunder or two. Neat. I love a good evening thunderstorm.

Imagine my confusion, then, when I heard that there was a tornado warning for the counties east of Raleigh. Naturally, my kids freaked when they heard this, despite my calm and curmudgeony reassurances that they were under no immediate danger. We made it home and I switched on the weather to find that there were two separate tornado warnings, both east of Raleigh.

Huh, I thought, internally mocking the powers that forecast the weather, sounds like a little more than a rumble of thunder or two.

As the evening wore on, there were more tornadoes. More warnings. And then, while a tornado bore down on the capital city of Raleigh, with another two off to the east, the National Weather System suddenly decided that they should issue the dreaded Tornado Watch for the area. This was hours after the first tornado had already been sighted, reported, and storm-chased. Brilliantly done, fellows! Why don't you follow up with something else, like how we shouldn't trust this Hitler guy or that Christopher Columbus is about to find something! We'll definitely know that you guys have your fingers on the collective pulse of society then.

I realize that this isn't Oklahoma, where they are pretty much under a tornado watch twenty-four hours a day. However, you'd think they'd press the button on the all-powerful weather machine--you know, the one that (inaccurately) predicts the Atlantic Hurricane season and says that drought-stricken parts of the country are going to remain abnormally dry, only to find northern Florida and Houston both flooded a week later--and use it to, oh, I don't know, issue a tornado watch in a more timely manner.

Perhaps that's too much to ask. After all, this is the same group of people who just recently picked up on that warming trend that started 11,000 years ago.