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Inspirational Reads

The Bridge to...Somewhere

May 18, 2010

Last night, my daughter went through her "bridging" ceremony for girl scouts. I guess she graduated from a Brownie to a Junior. I don't remember such a thing for going from Cub Scouts to Webelos to Boy Scouts. Basically, I earned my bobcat, wolf and bear patches and moved on.

Anyway, the Bridging Ceremony, as it is called, is a highly symbolic and terrifically ceremonial rite that hearkens back to the very foundations of our civilizations. Like most secret, fraternal (or sororietal) organizations, to witness such a ceremony is to behold a very spectacle for the senses, and it shouldn't be shared with the outside world.

However, if they wanted to keep this quiet, they shouldn't have invited a mouthy blogger who likes to fill his slice o' the internet with stories of his life.

So...the Bridging Ceremony. It was fabulous, filled with deep meaning, and powerful. They called my daughter's name, she took two...maybe three...steps over a wooden bridge in the middle of the room...and became a Junior.

Um...what I meant was...uh...well, it's like...huh.

Remember in Finding Nemo when Nemo had to swim through...THE RING OF FIRE!!! in order to be accepted by the other fish in the tank at the dentist's office? And when he finally went through with the ceremony, it turned out that all he did was swim through the bubbles produced by the fake volcano? And in the end was like "That was it?"

Yeah. Like that. But with less bubbles.

So, anyway, Sharkbait, Hoo Ha Ha! my daughter is now a Junior. Also, she got several awards for all the work she did this year with the girl scout troop. She earned three badges, which is exactly three more than I ever earned in my entire scouting career (minus the four patches I earned to graduate from one level to another, and my Arrow of Light). But then again, I never truly made it to Tenderfoot before baseball and a serious fascination with titties ended my scouting career.

She also won an award for the second most cookie sales for her troop. Second! Impressive. She sold 248 boxes, which is two shy of 250 (I can do math, me), and was also two shy of first place. If only her grandparents or her uncle would have ponied up and shelled out the money for two boxes of cookies, she could have been top dog...er...Brownie. Instead, poor little Sharkbait, Hoo Ha Ha daughter mine will have to languish in second place. Forever.

I think I just decided not to send my mom her Mother's Day Card.

Ever again.

8 comments:

Scope said...

That's the most important ceremony in a young girls life.

For 7 hours or so.

Eric said...

Wouldn't the edge of a tall bridge be a good place to test the 'backward fall trust your friend to catch you' thing?

If the girlscouts had the stones to do that, people would buy their damned cookies, or else!

Jidai said...

So as a father of two little girls, the question becomes, sign them up for girl scouts and the ability to buy as many cookies as I want, but have to be that guy at the office/campus who is trying to get his students to buy cookies.

On the other hand I could not be the legal equivalent of an office drug dealer. Haha here I go on about choices (the wife was a girl scout).

Adam L. said...

You should have solicited requests for cookie purchases (did you? I guess I don't remember)!

I'm sure the internet would have gladly put your girl in first place.

red said...

I totally did this as a little girl. Brownies 4 Eva!!!

SkylersDad said...

I remember squirming away as a young lad at my older sisters ceremony. Perhaps if the girls scouts had appeared as delicious as your photo, I could have had more of an attention span.

Lizzy and Elle said...

Always a good story time

btw we stole stuff

MJenks said...

@ Scope: Now? Now I have to deal with her losing two of her patches already.

@ Eric: I guess that would be a good place to try that out. Of course, there's that couple of seconds where you realize that they didn't catch you before you hit the water...

@ Jidai: They pretty much sell themselves. Just say "Girl Scout Cookies", and most anyone will come along with pen in hand and want to throw cash in your direction.

You just have to assure them that you won't take the cash and open a meth lab with it.

Or maybe that's just me...

@ Adam L.: I mentioned it a couple of times, but I didn't push it too hard. I didn't want to annoy people with the girl scout cookie thing.

@ red: Until you become a junior, that is...

@ Skydad: Yes, that girl scout in the picture would make ANY ceremony far more enjoyable.

@ Lizzy and Elle: Steal what you want. Sharkbait, Hoo Ha Ha!