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Inspirational Reads


August 12, 2010

It's been a long, long week.

What's that? It's only Thursday?

You're fucked, buddy.

Not really, because my wife still has a herniated disk in her neck. My son got better, my daughter got sick, my daughter got better, my son got sick--what the fuck???

Now wife is also sick.

And I have a sore throat.

So, yeah. The Happiness Express has slowed to a fucking crawl--and not even a pub crawl because A) I can't afford stuff like "alcohol" or "cover charges" or "hush money" or "a good attorney because I can't seem to keep from taking my cock out and showing everyone at the bar but WOULDYOULOOKATTHESIZEOFTHISTHING!!!1!" and B) I have no friends to go drinking with. The last part of A might have something to do with that.

Sadly, it's true. Happy Cat is all out of Happy right now. However, if you let me him sniff your panties or if you send me him boob shots, he might perk right the fuck up.


And now it's only five minutes later on Thursday.


Jidai said...

It's just one of those weeks... I feel horrible for you. I'd grab a drink with you and trust me. :P

DEZMOND said...

now, really, what kind of friends wouldn't oblige you in checking out the size of that thing? Some truly undeserving people, I say ...

PS you have some boob shots to cheer you up over in my JOHN CARTER OF MARS post ;))

The Invisible Seductress said...

Sending hugs and laughs...

Sully said...

Do man-boob shots count?

Moob shots... I know this guy...

Feel Better!!! I'm sending positive vibes in your direction....

not from my moobs.

SkylersDad said...

If I lived closer I would come by and deliver the miracle elixir that is Guinness.

red said...

Sorry dude.


Amber Tidd Murphy said...

I have a sore throat, too. You and I have GOT to stop tongue kissing!

Bev said...

Sorry about your sad pussy, but if you're looking for boob shots I demand a little quid pro quo action; and I ain't talking about your moobs, Captain Long Sword.


Chemgeek said...

Didn't Farve send you a picture of his junk? Would that help?

Kal said...

It's been a gloomy week here in the tundra too. I have a canker sore on my tongue and to eat salt and vinegar chips is delicious pain.

Ed said...

Boob shots sound painful.

Chics really have it rough.

Moooooog35 said...

Boob shots coming up!

I shaved my chest just for this purpose.

You're welcome.

MJenks said...

@ Jidai: I appreciate the offer. Hey, wait, you don't--oh, that's right. It's your Japan time of the year.


@ Dezmond: You've just become my new best friend in blogland. Don't let Bev know.

@ Invisible Seductress: While I appreciate it, better to send the hugs via mail or something, so as not to get too close to my body, which is most likely dripping with disease.

@ Sully: Thanks, man. You're a real moob-warrior.

@ SkyDad: I thought we were friends? I thought we got along alright? I thought...oh, wait...did I not tell you that I'm violently and painfully allergic to beer nowadays?


Bring the .22...

@ red: Well, you can always pet the...oh, wait.


That WOULD perk Happy Cat right the hell up.

@ Amber: You know what's good for a sore throat? A nice thick warm coating of liquid. I can help you out with that, too, if you'd like.

@ Bev: I see my reputation--among other things--precedes me. Well, here, is a picture of my giant cock! I hope you're happy.

@ Chemgeek: He's still wavering on whether he's going to send it to me or not.

@ Kal: Ugh. I get those sometimes if I eat Chinese food. I think it's an MSG thing for me. Still, I hope you're better soon.

And salt and vinegar chips ARE fucking delicious...

@ Ed: Not the way I do them.

@ Moooooog: *unbuckles belt*
*unzips pants*

Lisa-tastrophies said...

DUDE! Did you steal my week? Now it's Sunday and I have to go back to the world of attempting to teach juvenile delinquents tomorrow. Fun times. So why do I feel like I have an appointment with the executioner?
In other words: I feel your pain.