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Inspirational Reads

Second Place is the First Loser

October 7, 2010

Fresh off last week's showing of second place at Trivia Night, we--my wife, two of our friends, and myself--swept into the bar last night with the cool demeanor of a group of people who wanted--nay, expected--to win. Or, perhaps, it was the demeanor of people who had already had several ales and/or lagers and one who was enjoying that free coke for all it was worth.

Allow me, for a moment, to describe for you the structure of Trivia Night. There are three rounds, each ten questions long, with the first and the third being rounds of general knowledge. The middle round has a theme. Also, usually, the final five questions in the third round carry a theme, with the last question being "what do the previous four answers have in common?"

The theme for the second round last night? Star Wars.

*triumphant blaze of trumpets*

Milk me, baby, because we're in the barn!

Now to be completely candid, I was a touch nervous coming into the second round. What if these were painfully obscure question, like what actor played Saesee Tiin or what planet did the Trianii originate from. My friends had been so excited, so sure that I was our "Star Wars ringer" that I was beginning to feel the pressure and, while I wanted--nay, expected--to win, I also wanted to crumple to the floor, curl into the fetal position, and weep.

However, as the questions began rolling, I knew there would be no problems. From the first question (What was the name of the Wookiee's home planet?) to Who led the rebel fleet into the Battle of Endor to What character did Kenny Baker play in all six of the Star Wars movies, the round got further and further in the bag. I am nothing if not pedantically nerdy when it comes to Star Wars. And Latin. And, well, Christ...everything else. *sigh*

As it turns out, we got a perfect score in the second round. One of only two teams to do so. Fucking. Aye. I should be ashamed, but I'm not.

Our perfect score vaulted us into a three-way tie for the lead, which we then salted away in the end by capturing nine of a possible eleven points. Victory was ours, and we did not need a sudden-death bonus round in order to capture it this week. We were granted the $50 worth of credit toward our tab, which we split evenly between the four of us. This meant that my wife and I paid five dollars for our dinners, drinks, and desserts.

Oh, and the final questions from the third round, in which there is a mini-theme running? The theme was Greek and Roman mythological names (also the names of moons of Saturn, but...meh). Unfortunately, we could not remember the name of Holden Caulfield's younger sister from Catcher in the Rye (Phoebe). It matters not the margin of victory so long as victory was achieved. AmIright???

So, yes, I may be a Star Wars nerd, but my two offspring prove that--despite my geeky shortcomings--I have in fact seen a boob and that I have in fact gotten laid. At least twice. And almost a third time. *shifty-eyed*

I was a tad disappointed, however, that my team vetoed my idea for a team name and, instead, came up with "Grand Muff Tarkin". My idea? "Han shot first across Leia's face". *sigh* Star Wars and sex! How can you go wrong?


Adam L. said...

You are a credit to Star Wars/mythology nerds everywhere.

Although I wonder if you have Carrie Fisher's autograph displayed prominently in your dining room...


That Baldy Fella said...

Persoanlly, I'd have gone with "Grand Muff Tarkin". Catchier.

I once made a 30 second Star Wars short film for an MTV comp (this is it, in fact:- and got through to the final round on air. Out of the three finalists, I came third. Still, won tickets to a screening of all 6 films on the day of the premiere of Ep III and George Lucas came over from the full premiere to introduce it. Nice.

Sara said...

Wait, your wife wouldn't let you use the team name that involved a money shot reference?



Eric said...

Jar Jar Boinks has a nice ring to it?

SkylersDad said...

Your choice of name made me laugh, out loud, on my conference call.

Damn you man!

Cora said...

Oy. Star Wars. I don't get it. And one of my best friends has the full on Storm Trooper outfit and marches in all the big parades with Darth Vader and whatnot, but--meh--I still don't get it.

However, if it were a Harry Potter trivia contest, well, that would be different. Very different.

Pearl said...

Your status as a smart man has never been in question.



Scope said...

Just win, baby.

Wynn said...

Good one! I almost can't tell star wars and star trek from eachother, which just so happens to cause eye rolls from almost every single one of my male friends, but I don't care!

What I mean is anyways, knowing stuff is always good.

Wynn said...

Why did I leave an unlinked comment. How non-PR of me. So you get another one.


Nej said...

Please tell me that there are those in your life who once said your endless Star Wars knowledge would get you anywhere....because if they exist, I can imagine you sticking your tongue out at them right now. N, na naaaaa, na naaaa naaaaa :-)~