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Happy Leif Erikson Day!

October 9, 2008

Hinga dinga dergon, everyone!

Just when I was about to go downtown and get some more giant paper, I realized that it was one of those special days that one has to celebrate. Or at least honor in one's blog.

Today is Leif Erikson Day. Who is Leif Erikson, you might ask? If you are one of those people, fuck off, I don't want to talk to you. I guess that makes telling you that Leif Erikson was one of the first Europeans to set foot in North America rather pointless now, but there you have it. That's right, today is the day that we celebrate the Norse in all of us. Or Swedes. Or Danes. Or Finns. Or Lapps. Or Icelandic. Christ, there's a lot of Scandinavian folk.

Anyway, this is a particularly popular holiday in the northern tier of states in the midwest, where lots of folks with Scandinavian ancestors live. People who live in places like Minnesota and Wisconsin are probably already drinking mead out of great pewter goblets and wearing hats with horns and molesting bar wenches at every other turn. Dandle a few on your legs for me, boys. Nothing says Happy Leif Erikson day like getting drunk and pillaging. Smashing things with a giant hammer and riding a horse with eight legs is optional (but still damned fun).

How does this pertain to me? It doesn't, much, except that my mother's side of the family takes their name (Ormsby) from a Viking named Orm(e) who set up shop in Scotland and called it home in one of the many Viking invasions of the British Isles. This particular Orm(e) was from around 930-940, as far as I can tell, from the genealogical work I did a few years ago. Also, my high school mascot was the Viking, and our bitter rival was the Northfield Norsemen. Way to be original, you Wabash-county sacks of shit. I hope you all contract syphilis while banging your sisters. More like the Northfield Douchebags. Heh...douchebags.

Anyway, feel free to wish anyone you see a Happy Leif Erikson, especially if they're tall, blond, bearded and caught up in the middle of a berserker rage. Also acceptable to wish someone a happy birthday if they are blonde, chesty and wearing a very small breastplate. Or if they're an opera singer. If you don't, they might strike you down with their speaw and magic hewmet. Spear and magic helmet? Magic hewmut! Magic helmet.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go get more giant paper. Uhhhhhhhh...


Mel O said...

Happy Leif Erikson Day to you too!

I'm a total Viking (actually, if you want to get all technical! my grandfather's parents were), live in the midwest and like getting drunk. I think I'm ready to move onto bigger and better things like pillaging... or being pillaged?

Dr Zibbs said...

You're wrong. Leif Erickson was that hot guy from the 70's that was on Tiger Beat every other week.

Chemgeek said...

Dang it!!! From now on I am going to make sure September is mead brewing month. Then I'll have a plentiful supply for such occasions as Lief Ericson day or hammer smashing day or football sundays.

Frank said...

Nothin' like molesting bar wenches to celebrate a bit of history.

Ψ*Ψ said...

Since I'm pretty much the opposite of tall and blonde, and have zero cold tolerance, it's pretty safe to say I'm about 0% Viking. This makes me terribly sad, because Scandinavian metal is SUPER AWESOME and Iceland seems like a really cool place to vacation.
Too bad their banks are failing :(

Lisa-tastrophies said...

My Mom's side of the family is Norwegian, my Dad's side from Germany. You would think that I would have hit the genetic lottery and be blond, thin, tall with fabulous cheek bones. Yeah, I apparently went swimming in the shallow end of that gene pool. I do however claim my Nordic roots and will be making Yulakaka and Kremekaka in celebration of the fine pillaging and plundering that was the Nord-God Leif Erickson.

Gwen said...

You should go back and edit that berserker wiki page to include an external reference to Clerks.

No, you do it. We already agreed, I'm the idea man and you're enforcement.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...'re a fucking genius.

Will Shannon said...

As we speak, I am going home to don my scandalously small breastplate, descend on either Stoughton or Mount Horeb (two towns that are packed with Norweigans) and tear some shit up.

Or I will get drunk sitting on my couch watching Doctor Who DVD's. Whatever.

Seriously, though, I will be hanging out with my buddy Andrew Erickson (from-no surprise here-Minnesota) sometime this weekend.

We may have to do something Scandinavian like eat lutefisk, pillage Irish monasteries or raise the nominal income tax rate to 53%.

Oh, if you are looking for a good movie for this occasion, there is none better than the 1958 classic "The Vikings" with Kirk Douglas, Tony Curtis and Ernest Borgnine.

Hap said...

I guess lutefisk is the chemistry component of the discussion. Mmmm, I love food made with lye.

We had our pillaging when the power went out. I'm not feeling in a pillaging mood.

jojo said...

Are you gonna do this again this year? Its my b-day and hubs is VIKING. would love to know we have a nice ck maker too!

jojo said...

Are you doing this again this year? It's my birthday and my hubs it the viking. We have some nord cookware!