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Inspirational Reads

Packing it In

October 16, 2008

Well, I was all set to do a whole bunch of stuff on this here slice of the ebays, but it turns out, I'm unwanted. My once and future friend, the Good Doctor Zibbs, owner, operator, and CEO of That Blue Yak Enterprises, LLC, has told me that he doesn't like my type. I've been devastated ever since. Well, that is, until I read the comments on the post where he called me out. Since then, I've been balled up on the floor, wondering how I can go on.

Frankly, I've realized, I can't.

So, thus is born the final chapter of A Crown of Thistles. Oh sure, you're saying, like he's going to do it. He should be more resilient than that. He should be an adult, hold a stiff upper lip, and travel on. Fuck the rest of the commenters on his Internet Sensation. Fuck them all gently with a chainsaw.

However, I realized that with Dr. Zibbs looking at me with scorn and disdain and Rider no longer keeping the Block...well...this is not an internet I wish to download fringe celebrity upskirt photos cruise around on. The Crown, if you will, has been tarnished.

So...at the end of the month, I'll be locking the door and tossing away the key. Or perhaps I'll have Wizard Cat transmogrify it into jelly beans. Mmmmm...I like jelly beans.

I regret nothing...save for the fact that I couldn't upload and install a copy of "The End" by the Doors for you all to enjoy as I sulk into the sunset. Or perhaps just stand there, naked, facing the setting sun, and singing Sinatra's "Summer Wind."

12 comments:

Lisa-tastrophies said...

WTF!!!!!!!!! NO, YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. TELL ME WHERE THIS GUY LIVES AND I WILL TAKE HIM OUT FOR YOU!!! Don't to it man. We love you. We love the Wiz. We love the Bodacious Boudica for lovin you. DOn't you dare stop. I live for this sh*t ~ I mean blog.

Mel O said...

WTF!!!!!!!!! is RIGHT!!!

Zibbs is sooooo going down! We've already got a mud wrestling fight set up, so I'm totally kicking his ass for you!

What are you THINKING? (Drinking? Smoking? Snorting?) I've had enough men walk out on me, mJenks... and I just can't accept this from you. YOU!

:'(

Frank said...

NOOOOOOOOO


Now who's going to lecture me in incoherent chemistry facts or remind me when it is the birthday of various saints?

Will Shannon said...

You heard it here first:

He's bluffing.

Chemgeek said...

HA HA HA. Very funny. April Fools!!!

What? It's October? Hmmm that's an odd time to pull an April Fools joke, but OK, you got us.

Ha hahahahaha te hee.

Gwen said...

I'm 75% sure you're kidding so I'm 25% threatening a hunger strike to keep you on the air.

Just in case it's necessary, I'm begging.

Hap said...

1) How are we going to know where to get your book if you go silent?

2) Where else can I bitch about Brent Musburger and OSU? Or the Red Sox sucking like a two-dollar...sex worker or vacuum, I don't care which?

M in SF said...

whoa. this is the first time i read and it is your farewell. i demand an encore!!! pronto.

Joel D. Timm said...

Nope you can't do it, who do you think you are walking out on us?

It isn't an option, so get back to writing.

McGone said...

Have you filled out the proper paperwork? Well, then get busy. That should keep you around for another few months.

minddiarrhea said...

suck it up, dude. :o)

I don't want to lose one of my 3 readers!

mevans said...

You can't be serious man!