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Inspirational Reads

I Think I'm Done

October 7, 2008

Here's something that really bothers me, especially when I've invested a serious chunk of time getting into a story: when the story is suddenly changed wholesale. Some of you may know what I'm getting at, but for those of you who do something better with their Monday nights (like watch football or bare-knuckle fight hobos for nickels at the local bar or scratch your ass), I'll expound upon my vitriol.

This whole thing with Heroes is just...blegh. See, first off, they started out with the whole story of how people were changing over time and now they're getting these abilities. Sure, I think I've heard that plot somewhere before, but at least it was consistent. It wasn't just that one day someone woke up and suddenly could fly, or some such shit as that. Okay, I thought, perhaps this will turn out to be alright, so I watched and generally enjoyed the first season. The second season focused way too much on Hiro, who I find terribly annoying. I've met Japanese people, and they're not all mock-ups of anime characters. Now we've come to the third season and now suddenly, no one was born with these powers, but they were given these powers through genetic manipulation.

Sure, I can suspend my disbelief for so long to try and get by that. Genetic manipulation is a very common theme in science-fiction and, to an extent, we can insert genes into bacteria and we can knock genes out in almost anything, and we can synthesize DNA and proteins/enzymes. Hooray for science! I'm fine with all of that. The thing that irks me is that the whole premise for the show has changed radically in that now people aren't evolving these powers, they were given them by power-mad sociopaths at "The Company". No thanks. But wait, it's better. From the snippet of the "formula" we've seen from when Hiro (in eye-rolling, predictable fashion) looked at the piece of paper with half of the formula drawn on it, the magic bullet that gives these powers is a molecule featuring several fused cyclic ethers. Really? Brevetoxin, the culprit in red tide, is the thing that gives people powers? Huh. Funny, I thought it bound up your ion channels and killed you.
That's not even reflecting the plot holes in the story. Like, for instance, is one of Maya's powers, to go along with the black tears thing, the ability to suddenly go from being unable to speak any English at all to now being able to speak perfect, accent-free English? The baddest of the bad guys manage to escape from this mysterious "Level 5" and are on the prowl as a team of evil characters with incredibly strong powers, and they're captured by a guy with no powers at all after he gives up his gun? Weak. Also, what the hell happened to Kristen Bell? There was this whole "Oh, Elle, you're so powerful but you're untapped and untrained" and then her father (with one of the lamest powers of all) gets killed and now she's just disappeared? Nice. Jumping back and forth between the future and the past is also annoying me. The Petrelli Brothers are suddenly turning into the Summers brothers. Is their dad out running through space playing the part of a space pirate, too? Plus, we get it: Hayden Panetierre is hot, does that mean we have to shove the camera down her shirt at every turn of the plot? I'm not even that put off by her being evil in the future--though I do wonder at the whole dark hair and squinty eyes making someone evil bend. She's also a piss-poor shot.

Also, I think Peter Petrelli brings shame to the character of Synch from Generation-X. What the hell ever happened to Synch? Someone fill me in.

Anyway, the whole thing is a disaster of Cubs post-season proportions. There's not a compelling storyline that makes me want to watch. I might tune in next week, or I might not (depends on how many hobos I can bare knuckle box or if my left cheek has an itch). Overall, the whole story has become meh at best, and this time they don't have the writer's strike to blame for the coming apocalypse.

Actually, if they wrote Apocalypse into the story, things might get a lot better.


Dr Zibbs said...

Heroes is for zero's. I just made that up.

Gwen said...

I'm totally with you. I lost interest halfway through last season and stopped watching but decided to give it another shot this year. I'm already back out.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

@ Zibbs: I'm with you. Your off-the-cuff cleverness is dead on. Having just read a Hollywood reporter's review of how "emotionally touching" this episode was, this is definite for zeros. Or douchebags.

@ Gwen: I stuck with last year, thinking that maybe there was something to the whole writer's strike excuse. And, I liked how Hiro eventually took care of Adam. But, yeah, this looks less like a television show and more like someone took a dump on a piece of paper and called it a script.

Will Shannon said...

Watching football?

Bareknuckle fight hobos at the tavern for nickels?

Scratch my ass?

Hey, next time you are in Madison on a Monday night, let me know. Those hobos aren't going to fight themselves (for long, anyway).

Chemgeek said...

"Hayden Panetierre is hot, does that mean we have to shove the camera down her shirt at every turn of the plot?"

I guess I'm not seeing your point here. How is that bad?

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

@ Will: I guess I didn't think about the possibility of scratching my during a bare-knuckle fight with a hobo while watching football. Monday nights just got a lot more exciting.

@ Chemgeek: Well, when they use the camera-down-the-shirt in lieu of plot or character development, it's a distraction. Given the crappy turn of events on the show, I should welcome the distraction that Hayden's cleavage provides.

However, did you not see the picture of Kristen Bell? There needs to be more of that, except she needs to be wearing strategically-placed balls of blue flame.

McGone said...

Good lord, I forgot about Synch!

Watching last night's episode was like watching some coked-out jazz band doing an awful extended jam. They have no idea what they are doing here.

And I suspect that Typhoid Maya took the same "Learn English RIGHT Now!" crash course that Ando took, because when he strays from the Japanese he is also rather well versed all of a sudden.

And thank you for running a Kristen Bell picture. I will have to return the favor and run a Leelee graphic some day.

mevans said...

Good eye on the brevetoxin catch!

I think season 2 was some of the worst TV I've ever forced myself to watch. In comparison to season 2, I think season 3 has actually been pretty OK so far...though by no means anywhere near season 1. What can I say; I dig the chick with super speed! Too bad she marries Parkman, the little whiny bitch of the Heroes crew.

Mathdude said...

I thought it was going to pick up, but this week was pretty disappointing.

Will Shannon said...

"she needs to be wearing strategically-placed balls of blue flame."

Or strategically-placed balls of some kind, anyway.

(here again, couldn't resist).

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

@ McGone: Synch was easily my favorite out of the crop of new characters they introduced in the early to mid-90s. As for the Kristen Bell no, good was my pleasure. Who knows? She may make a return appearance.

@ mevans: Yeah, Daphne was a complete and total write-off when I saw she was getting tied in with that shitchunk. Also, I found it interesting that the person who drew the molecule included the stereochemistry of the hydrogens. I'm not sure if it was exactly brevetoxin, but it certainly bore an uncanny resemblance.

@ Mathdude: Yeah, when they start tinkering with jumping around in time, my interest fades fast. Also, I thought the "Butterfly effect" had to do with a butterfly flapping its wings and altering weather patterns halfway around the world.

@ Will: Good sir, you are dead on. And, if she was wearing balls of blue fire, I'd be standing there with a bucket of water.

minddiarrhea said...

I agree, this season is so back and forth with the time travel, it is getting stupid.

It's like they saw how LOST did it, and tried to copy that magic, but now they are in such a deep whole, they dont know what to do.