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Inspirational Reads

Charity: Crappy Gifts for Sick People

December 19, 2008

My good friend Scope gave me something. No, it's not the Clap. And besides, a little penicillin cleared that right up. No, he gave me one of those chain things that I usually pretend like I didn't see, but since this one was originated by the Internet Sensation that is Dr. Zibbs, I figured I should pass it along. One thing I've learned in my time on the interwebs: nothing boosts blog visitors like suckling at the teat of Zibbs.

So, the story is simple: You pick out a craptacular gift for the ill, pick five other bloggers who would also be altruistic enough to go along with the game, and then praise the Internet Sensation that is Dr. Zibbs by linking back to the original post. Simple, right?

I figure if these people are sick and dying, what better thing to brighten their day than a stuffed representation of what has invited the Grim Reaper to knock upon their door. Or better yet, caused him to saunter slowly up the front sidewalk while you watch from the front windows. Merry Christmas, here's a strange, yellow discharge. Oh, by the way, something's eating your brain. Want some eggnog?

I've opted for Hepatitis C and Sleeping Sickness (caused by the Hepatitis C Virus (HCV) and Trypanosoma brucei, respectively). Oh sure, there are treatments for both, but both will kill you if you don't treat them (and, in the case of T. brucei, the medicine can kill you if the sickness doesn't do it quick enough!), so I thought they were appropriate selections for this game.
These can be found at GIANTmicrobes.com; order yours today!

And now, for the five people I'll meet in Hell pass this along to:

Southern Belle
Susan
Frank
Jidai
Lydia

What are you waiting for, Grinchy? That heart ain't going to swell three sizes today without you doing something about it!

24 comments:

SouthernBelle said...

Hmm. Challenge accepted, sir!

Chris said...

Very nice selection! This would also work for his next tag along: "Sick Gifts for Crappy People" :)

Dr Zibbs said...

Classic!

LYDIA said...

I would love to purchase this gift for someone - a really young child and hopefully they would love it! And scream when her parents tried to hide it from her.

SouthernBelle said...

And mine's gonna be something that's ACTUALLY crappy. Oh yes.

Frank said...

Interesting...actually today my sister posted something about how my parents got her daughter a stuffed E. Coli...I wonder if it's from the same site.

Sassy Britches said...

I wonder if Dave Chapelle ordered these for his skit for children on just this topic...? I think all little kids need these suckers.

P.S. I can't quiiiiiite pinpoint why I am having trouble believing your Amelia Jenks Bloomer connection...hmmm...maybe it will come to me.

Mel O said...

ewwwwwwwww!!!

LOL... this is definitely one of the crappiest gifts I've seen. You've hit a new low... (and apparently that's a GOOD thing)

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

@ Belle: Go to it!

@ Chris: Well, I must admit, I am partial toward the trypanosome. But yes, this would work for that next one, wouldn't it?

@ Zibbs: My selection has been praised by the Master himself!

@ Lydia: If that's the case, Lydia, you should read the 'funny' part of Rachel's Funny and Serious post.

@ Belle 2: I think you get bonus points if you can work corn and/or peanuts into the mix.

@ Frank: I read that this morning. I was amused. Maybe that's what put the bug in my ear in the first place. Get it? See what I did? Awesome.

@ Sassy Pants: I have documentation, if you need.

@ MelO: Me? A new low? I thought you read this thing of mine on a regular basis.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

hey that a great yankee swap gift or an office grab gift! Thanks mjenks!

Susan said...

OK you're on. However I'm not appreciating the timing of your post of microbes and my daughers violent stomach bug for the past 24 hours???? Give me some time to lysol the house and brush my fucking teeth and I'll do some charity work as well.

Miss Catherine said...

Haha. This is my favorite gift so far..

--Lovely Miss Catherine

SouthernBelle said...

Mine's done

: )

Jidai said...

Wait, what?

Hap said...

I think someone's getting E. Coli H157 in their stocking this year.

I wondering if I can get it with or without a Jack-in-the-Box happy meal equivalent.

~E said...

Oh my lord...I actually got one of those (the yellow one) at a Christmas party last year as a white elephant.

What Biomed researchers come up with when they're drunk huh?

Susan said...

Done.

Lisa-tastrophies said...

WOW, was this ever right up my alley. I studied diseases in college. I mean, I was one of those twisted kids who actually tried to eat the Chocolate auger. (Damn good thing I was cute and wore shorts to class every day.) One of my absolute FAVORITE diseases was the plague.
Oh, give me the Black Death any day. Yersinia pestis. Loved it's flea biting little way of getting under your skin or in your lungs. Plus, it had it's own sound-track. Who could forget childhood favorites like: Ring-Around-the-Rosy?
It's only second in my heart to that wholesome threesome that is Ebola. Nothing like a virus that has three separate incarnations and can make you cry until you bleed from every orifice, but remains enough of an enigma each time that species-jumping hasn't connected the dots.

I'm hurt that you didn't chose me to play :-(
Oh well. Next time. At least tell us where we can catch these oh so cute little buggers ;-)

Poobomber said...

Is it your birthday today?

Happy birthday man!

SouthernBelle said...

They say it's your birthday
Happy Birthday to ya!

also, why is the ND in iNDefatigable capitalized?

xx
Belle

Moooooog35 said...

I've always wanted to feel like Pam Anderson, and now I can!

LYDIA said...

Happy Birthday!

Dr Zibbs said...

Happy B-day Jenks.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Happy Birthday to my favorite chemistry geek! Hope it was a good one!