Follow by Email

Inspirational Reads

Friday Morning Latin Lesson, Volume XVI

March 20, 2009

Today is the first day of spring. Because I'm an incredible dork, this post hit the interwebs the exact same time as spring hit the northern hemisphere...at least according to the countdown clock on the Weather Channel. If I'm wrong, I blame you, Nicole Mitchell.

You know what happens when spring hits, right? Of course, you do. This is the time of year when we start moving away from our winter physiologies: our blood thins, our hair lightens, our hormones race. *breathes deeply* Ah, Spring Fever. Raise your hand if you're horny! Ah, good, Scope, Cow Guy, Zibbs...yep, we've all got it.

It's also spring break for many colleges. Ah, that wonderful time of the year when you get to go south for a week, drink quantities of alcohol roughly equivalent to Olympic sized pools, and generally act like a whore. That's right. Not since those whacky days in the public baths has nudity and casual sex en masse been so acceptable than on Spring Break. But what's a guy to do when he has so many beautiful women around him, and has no way of breaking the ice?

Don't worry, guys, I'm here to help. Imagine you're on the beach and some busty, lusty co-ed comes bounding along with treats so enticing that you cannot help but want to bed her. Okay, okay...admittedly, guys will stick themselves in anything that can't or won't move away fast enough, but still, let's just play along for this exercise. I'm here to give you the confidence and the ability to walk up to the object of your desire and tell her exactly what you think:

"Venustas habes mammas!"

Pronounced: "Way-noose-tahs hob-ace maw-moss!"


Don't worry, ladies. Next week, I'll teach you how to deal with these douchebags!

17 comments:

Poobomber said...

How do you translate, "Visiting Mjenk's blog gives me a boner because of the supplemental images he uses"?

Sass said...

I've got nothing.

But I do have Spring Fever.

Do with that what you may.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Mjenks-sounds like you've used that translation more than once!!

I'm not sure if some one said that to me I'd take that as a compliment or an insult, unless , of course the front my crisp, white, crew neck t-shirt, draped over my bra-less chest were drenched in ice-cold water.....

Soda and Candy said...

Um, she looks like she is trying to use the cardigan pocket as camouflage to discreetly scratch herself. It burns, it burns!

Susan said...

Class act you are. Great lesson.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

@ Susan: I'm just here to help out, ma'am. Maybe, if you're lucky, this will show up in your comments section.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

@ Poobomber: I believe that is "MJenks cogitat quod nimiast miseria nimis pulchrum esse hominum". I hope that helps.

@ Sass: You've got nothing...but you've got Spring Fever...maybe take a Zyrtec?

@ Candy: So, are you saying "flamma fumo est proxima"?

@ Soda and Candy: Do you know to put the cursor of your mouse over the picture? The translation for the Latin phrase will pop up when you do that (and maybe it will become more clear as to why Ms. Johansson and...ahem...the ladies...are here today.)

Soda and Candy said...

No, I get it. I love the Friday Morning Latin Lesson!

But now I also understand that you were probably not looking at where her hand was.

; )

Cora said...

Can I put my hand down now?

Anna Russell said...

*raises hand* any takers? No? Damnit.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

@ Soda and Candy: Okay, since you are kind of new-ish, I didn't know if you knew the hovertext trick or not. Also...she has hands?

@ Cora: So long as you're not holding a mandoll or anything.

Girl Interrupted said...

I'm going out tomorrow night ... any chance you could speed it up with next week's lesson?

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

@ Anna: Isn't it still too cold up there for that kind of activity?

@ Girl Interrupted: I dunno...how venustas are your mammas?

Girl Interrupted said...

verum a splendidus os ut aspicio ;)

Sassy Britches said...

Girl Interrupted is talking dirty in Latin, Sass is being pointedly vague; heck, I'll just say "I'm horny" and get it over with!

Lisa-tastrophies said...

On behalf of big tittie girls, Thank you! I'm so glad you noticed. I was beginning to get a little pissed that no one was noticing my 2006 XL luxury upgraded twins. :-)

As for Spring Break ~ it's not as much fun as a teacher. Somehow lesson plans and paper grading make a nasty dent in the beer-bong and keggers.

Eric said...

Certamen bikini-disci mox coepit?

- Does the Bikini-Frisbee match start soon?

:)