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Inspirational Reads

Incredible!

April 29, 2010

I identify with Mr. Incredible a little too well.

It's not just that I'm a tall, blond, ripped God of a man (featuring the voice of Craig T. Nelson, thankyouverymuch). Nor is it that I'm married to a redhead (who fortunately doesn't sound like she's got a mouth full of shit--no, I'm not a big fan of Holly Hunter, how did you guess?) who has a bit of junk in her trunk, and who can stretch to fit any situation...if you know what I mean.

It's the entire family structure that I identify with. Right now, I'm one mistimed early withdrawal and a dye-job from having the same family as the Incredibles...minus the super powers, of course (dammit). I think about this every time I watch the movie; big blond guy as the dad, redhaired wife, older daughter with the dyed hair, younger son who is fast, and then baby Jackjack (otherwise known as the mistimed pull-out).

Even though I'm happy with my current employment situation, I did used to work for an Oompla-Loompa with a high-pitched voice who I would have loved to have thrown through several walls at my old job. Just thought I'd add that to the mix.

Recently, too, I've been sitting around thinking about the good old days. Back when I was a carried a bit more of an athletic frame, when it wasn't so difficult for me to get back into my old costume. Whatever that means.

I'm also missing that best friend that I can hang with and reminisce, since all my "good old days" friends live in the midwest. I suppose there's my friend Joe, but when we hang together we "reminisce" about the various attractive women at the eating establishment we are currently visiting. And lawn care. We talk about that maybe too much...

And I think I'm going to start calling him "Joezone".

Damn, I'm clever.

With all that said...I'm now waiting for an invitation to zoom off to an exotic location--all expenses paid, of course--where I can enjoy fruity drinks, a tropical climate, scantily-dressed women and even fight some giant robots, if need be. If you need me, I'll be down at the yard lifting Pullman cars to get back into shape.

Or staring lasciviously at the younger waitresses down at the restaurant with my buddy Joezone. Either way, just leave the info an the plane tickets in a manila envelope on my desk, and I'll get around to it eventually.

11 comments:

Ed said...

I love that movie.

Unlike you though, I do resemble Mr. Incredible.

Sorry about your luck, fatty.

Moooooog35 said...

I identify with Mr. Wicked Awesome.

I just made him up.

The description IS pretty accurate though.

Sully said...

I'm going to post some before and after pics at some point...

kate said...

Days like today, I'd kill for a secret missing on a tropical island...hell, even just a vacation to one. If they leave you the plane tickets, don't forget your Kansas friend who is currently rotting under the hot glow of florescent lights in a sad, windowless office...

That Baldy Fella said...

I'm more of a Dr Evil resembling kind of a guy...

Soda and Candy said...

I heart the Incredibles. When I'm an old lady I would like to be as badass as Edna Mode.

Also:
"Greater good?! I am your wife. I am the greatest good you are ever gonna get!"

corticoWhat said...

How appropriate! My late early withdrawal's birthday is today. I bought him a case of Trojans.

Jill VT said...

I highly recommend Cabo San Lucas for said tropical drinks. Perfect climate, perfect views, and lots of scanty-cladness.

Scope said...

Sorry, due to sentence structure, I was a bit confused. Where you and your buddy discussing the waitress's "lawn care" down in "the Joezone"?

And I hear Seattle in July is nice...

carissajaded said...

I've never seen Mr Incredible so I didn't get all that. I do miss the good ole days. But not the scantily dressed women, so I don't get all that either.. Either way, dude- take a vacay! Just not from blogging, I'd miss that!

Sassy Britches said...

My parents have a trundle bed and a well-tended garden (all-expenses paid), drink a lot of grape juice (fruity drinks), and you KNOEw how lovely the humidity is for Midwestern summers (tropical climate), and my crazy neighbor sometimes mows her lawn in various stages of undress (scantily-clad women and giant robots). What more could you want in a vacay? Come on over!