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Totally Blowing Shit Up Tuesdays: The Peeps Saga

August 25, 2009

I knew, last week, when I was telling everyone about how much I loved me some peeps, that a lot of you weren't Peeps fans. And while I will never understand this, I fully accept the fact that you are marshmallowphobic. Frankly, I embrace it. I mean, if you're not eating the Peeps, then that saves more for me, right? Win win, baby.

And while the movie I showed last week was cool and all--you know, the one where they had the Peeps and it looked like they were various types of fireworks and whatnot--it wasn't really blowing shit up. So, why not blow some Peeps up this week?

You know that it pains me to watch Peeps ruined in such a way, but I'm doing it for you, the people who loves them some splosions and such. Don't say I'm not a giver, because I'm willing to sacrifice some of my favorite disgustingly sugary treats for you readers. It's like a written hug or something.



The key to this expansion thing is that marshmallow, for all it's sugary goodness, has a lot of air whipped into it. When you microwave the Peeps, the air gets hot and expands. Okay, let me rephrase that. Water vapor in the air within the Peeps gets excited when you microwave it, which causes those hydrogen-oxygen bonds to wiggle back and forth a lot more, which causes heat. As the bonds wiggle more and more, more heat is produced. As the heat is produced, something needs to absorb it, so the air heats up. As the air heats up, it expands. Since it's trapped in a somewhat solid matrix of sugar, the air pushes out on the soft marshmallow, which causes it to expand like that. The heat also helps to melt the marshmallow, giving the added blobby effect.

The heat that melts the marshmallow, though, is probably caused by the vibrations of the hydrogen-oxygen bonds in the sugar itself, but that would also contribute to the overall heating, expansion and melting effect seen above. Six of one, half a dozen of the other. It's the polarizability of the -OH bonds that causes the microwave to have any efficacy at all.

The same thing (minus the melting) happens to a marshmallow when you put it in a vacuum. Except, here the air is expanding because it is being pulled out of the marshmallow instead of expansion through heating. Put a marshmallow in a Bell jar and evacuate it, and it swells up huge before collapsing upon itself.

While all of that is cool, it's not really blowing anything up, per se, is it? No, it's not. It's expanding due to heat and pressure changes, but not a true explosion.

So, what happens when you shove a firecracker up a Peeps' ass and light it?



That was so much more satisfying.

EDIT: I had to pop the word verification back up yesterday. I had some asshole dillweed Chinese fucktard spamming my comments. I'll probably drop it again in a few days. Sorry for the inconvenience.

19 comments:

erin said...

Poor peeps. I know they're not living or breathing or thinking...but I feel bad for anything that gets a firecracker stuck up it's ass and blown up...

Mr. Condescending said...

Can you weld peeps together? Then freeze them into a frozen treat?

otherworldlyone said...

Peeps are like solidified jizz with sugar.

Whiskey Girl said...

Mmmmm I love Peeps.... especially when they are a little stale....

The microwave thing was funny. And I love how the "slow motion" isn't slow at all. Or is it?

Some Guy said...

While the first video was cool, I was a little let down by the lack of anything blowing up, but then you totally redeemed yourself with the second one. Nice!

Bev said...

I'm all for the firecracker in the Peep ass! The very word "Peeps" makes my teeth hurt.

Cooper Green said...

Hey, I'm not Chinese. Everything else was right on the mark, though.

Jidai said...

You know, I can't believe I've never said it on your blog before, but... SCIENCE!

Soda and Candy said...

BOOM!!! Ahahahahahaaha!

The microwaved Peeps look like time-lapse puffball fungi, except delicious. Actually I've never eaten a Peep.

LiLu said...

I despise Peeps. We should blow them ALL up. Exploding stuff is fun!

Eric said...

Peeps are great, that is, if you like stale marshmallows that taste like crap, and if you like licking up year old colored sugar at the bottom of a cookie presentation tray at a substandard bakery.

Nej said...

While being a manager of a grocery store throughout high school and college, I learned quite a bit.

Most of it will never do me any good...but some of it was fun.

We had a vacuum pack machine in the meat room. Need I say more???

My favorite was busted bags of marshmallows. :-) :-)

My word verification is "hormo"....should I take offense? :-)

Jules said...

PEEPS suck and should all be blown up! YAY!!!!!

Samsmama said...

Wow, people are really passionate when it comes to their opinion on Peeps! My opinion? What Eric said. I'd copy & paste it but I don't wanna.

mo.stoneskin said...

And all this time I thought you were a fine, cultured representative of civilised society.

Lisa-tastrophies said...

Peep Ass!! Love it. Now I know what will be on my 4th of July to-do list next year :-)

Sassy Britches said...

Thank you for the slow motion. I believe I missed a bit.

words...words...words... said...

This video is the best thing I've seen all day. I have never been high, but if I ever do it I am watching this video.

Scope said...

We all got a case of the Chinese SPAM, even folks who have the word verification on.

I'm still wondering how that makes money. Who in their right mind would follow any on the links in those comments?