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This Just In: Young, Married People Like to Have Sex!!!

August 18, 2008

I would lay good money that that stupid bitch from Carmel--you know the one who doesn't like the ads in the mall for Victoria's Secret?--and her cohorts are involved in this somehow. Apparently, a lovely photo of a bride and groom hanging at the Indiana State Fair Art Exhibit--which won first prize, by the way--was deemed too racy and taken down from the wall.

Judge for yourself. I swiped the picture from the Indianapolis Star website and posted it here. As you can see, the couple are pressed close together and she has her legs opened and he has her hand on her knee. Some people apparently felt that it was a travesty that you couldn't see his other hand. Let's think about biomechanics here for a moment. Take a look. That's his left hand you see, and his left side is closest to the camera. That means his right side is away from the camera and his right arm is angled behind the bride. What he's probably doing is holding her up so that she doesn't fall over backwards. Oh no! Scandal! On the walls at the Indiana State Fair.

I'm sure that the good name of the children was invoked in order to get this removed. Oh my God! Marriage! Run screaming into the void! Aiiiiiiiiieeeeeee!!!

Look, I love my home state. Nothing makes my heart swell with pride more than thinking of the flat, featureless plains that comprise most of Indiana and the backwards small towns revolving around farm culture that make up its patchwork landscape. However, it always makes me a touch nauseated to see things like this highlighted in the news. I wish we could go back to the days of hearing stories like "John Ryan was arrested Saturday after a brawl at the local bar, The Sippy Hole, broke out. Ryan allegedly started the fracas with local resident Steve William when William loudly proclaimed 'International Harvester could plow rings around John Deere.' In all, five people were treated for minor injuries. The owner of The Sippy Hole, Pete Dan, said that the fight did about $500 in damage, most if it in broken bar stools."

Strangely, Obama seems to think he can pry a few of those voters away from their Red State ways. Good luck, buddy. You might need it.


poobomber said...

He's obviously fingerdingling her. In accordance with the law of God, they should only have sexual contact if they're going to procreate.

Damn that's hot, being all anti-God.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Settle down there. I've seen pictures of you naked. I don't need all that mustard and ketchup all over the place.

Dr Zibbs said...

That's it. I'm never vistiting or driving through your state again

Chemgeek said...

ugh!!! I assume the birthrate in Indiana must be something like 14 babies a year.

Gwen said...

It's funny to me how the organizers who took the picture down failed to realize that leaving a blank patch next to the blue ribbon and making a stink over it would draw more attention than the picture itself. Morons.

I think it's beautiful and moving. Their love is palpable in this picture.

dg said...

Her veil is really cool. I suppose it could be considered phallic, what with it standing on end and all. Overall, I give it a 9 on artistry. I like the photo. It is sexy and loving with a nod to artistic expression.

BeckEye said...

There's no way that belongs at an art exhibit. You can't even see the guy's dick.

Frank said...

I believe it is scandalous because she is showing more than the 1/4 inch of permissible ankle. I mean...look at can see HALF OF HER CALF. How do you perverts sleep at night?

Noel said...

Dude, you don't see the blind midget lesbian hermaphrodite under the dress penetrating the bride with a spoon made out of the Holy Grail? I'm surprised it got as far as it did.

But in all seriousness, this hyper fear of the body is what is ruining relationships and people in general. People are raised thinking that sex is scary and horrifying and they start hating their bodies and the idea of sex, and when they do it--they feel guilty about it.

This ruins the psyche and makes people look at their children as products of sin and nothing more than disasters of flesh.

Makes me think there should be another sexual revolution.

Ψ*Ψ said...

When a nursing mother is kicked out of a restaurant or other business, many others arrange a "nurse-in" as a protest.

So here's an idea: let's all go to the Indiana State Fair and make out! :D Much more fun than being annoyed by stupid people.

Falwless said...

I'm lauging too hard at Beckeye's comment to say something of my own. Good day.

Alaina said...

I like the pic. They're just all jealous they didn't think of having a picture taken before they got fat and lazy and ugly.