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Inspirational Reads

Release the Mob

August 10, 2008

Get your pitchforks and torches ready, everyone. We're burning stuff again, and this time it has nothing to do with the Dixie Chicks nor France. Shocker, I know. Remember a few days ago when Stephenie Meyer produced her latest Buffy rip-off masterpiece book piece of crap, Breaking Dawn? Remember how everyone has fallen all over themselves, smacking their lips and breathing heavy into the phone over how great this was supposed to be?

Not so fast, chief. Seems as though the book is being returned in record numbers now. It's apparently caused some disgruntled fans to organize a book burning tour just to get rid of the piece of shit from their house. Well done. Well done.

All of this comes on the heels of the stories and articles about how this was so much different than Harry Potter, but I assume those people were talking about how it was better. I guess that it is better than Harry Potter in that Deathly Hallows did not cause people to want to get together and test that whole 451 Fahrenheit thing.

There's an enormous discussion at talking about returning the book rather than burning it, because if you burn it, Meyer still gets royalties off of the book. Frankly, I don't know if I like that, because rationality and commonsense are two things I don't look for in my angry mobs. I guess this is what you get when you crap a book out in six months. I understand it's one thing to try and satisfy your fans as soon as possible...if I had any...but I also understand putting an effort into making the book something you are proud of.

I think worst of all--at least from Meyer's standpoint--is that her fans are ready to abandon her. Even though there were a lot of disappointed fans after Deathly Hallows (myself and the comely and buxom Boudicca are in that camp), I don't remember a lot of people wanting to never read anything by J.K. Rowling ever again. So, I think I'm going to append that list I made a few months ago about what I never want to do when it comes to writing.

The Meyer Syndrome: Cranking out a book so horribly written and so poorly executed with such a weak plot that my readership wholeheartedly abandons not only the book and/or the series, but my writing altogether.

That ought to about do it. Now, I'm off to light some torches.


Alaina said...

I'll bring the pitch fork and the incensed rage!

Chemgeek said...

I've never been part of a book burning, so I've always wondered, how good do books really burn. I gotta think they do not burn very well. Maybe it would work with a lot of added liquid fuel, but it seems with just the book it would only smolder.

Gwen said...

Wow. A book burning? That's some serious hatin'.

McGone said...

Now if they light themselves on fire it makes much more of a statement. Do they have a suggestion box anywhere?

dg said...

Release the mob!

I have yet to ready ANY of her books, but I have heard the Twilight series was good, even though I find the premise uber creepy. And it was written for teenagers.

But, hey, what does she care? She's making beaucoup off the movie rights from Twilight.

Frank said...

One of my friends went to a "midnight book release party" for that book. I think I taste a little vomit just THINKING about that.

red said...

Whoa! I can't believe someone who wrote a sub par YA series about Vampires wrote a shitty novel for adults! This is truly shocking!

P.S. I hate word verification!!!!!!!@

Lisa-tastrophies said...

I am about half way through it and was beginning to get that "you totally cheated us and who thought this crap up" feeling. Thanks for confirming it. I like my vampire stories without the Chose Life message and without the borderline pedophillia (who cares if the kid does grow up within -like - a week. It's still icky)

But I don't think people should return the book. I can't get my money back form Clerks II or Stripper Zombies even though I sat all the way through them. You bought it, you stuck with it. If you don't want to pay, check it out at the library next time.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

@ alaina: Awesome. That's more like it. This rationality thing should never go along with an angry crowd.

@ chemgeek: For some reason, I burnt a biology book once. I don't remember why, I just remember laughing over it. But the book did burn fairly well. I think I've also burnt stripped paperbacks. And, yes, there is a lot of smoldering, but once it gets hot enough, they kind of burn like a log.

@ gwen: Which is why I've added it to the list of things I don't ever want to be on the other side of!

@ mcgone: Yeah, self-immolation would make a big statement. And probably help out humanity and society as a whole.

@ DG: Agreed. She's set with the licensing rights off the movie, so I guess it doesn't matter if she gets money off burnt books or not.

@ frank: Careful, man. My wife planned one of those. Granted, it's part of her job, but still. Okay, you're right. I vomited, too.

@ Red: I hate the word verification, too, but based on some of the searches that bring people here, it's for the best. Also, I realize it's too easy to poke fun at someone as subpar as this chick and her fans, but it does make me feel a little better about NOT being published yet. And, frankly, that's all that counts 'round these haunts.

@ Lisa's chest: My wife read some passages to me from the story. I was left speechless. And yes, the whole werewolf/baby thing...creepy. I'd return the book just off that. And her name selection sucked. At least I choose my names from Italian soccer stars.

mevans said...

Breaking Dawn is about vampires? Heh. I'll take a good Anne Rice over that crap any day.