The Funniest Word I Know

I'm sure you've probably played that annoying game with the cup and a ball on a string. Myself, I've never been very good at it, which I know must be a shocker to you. We're talking about a guy who, upon his first attempt at playing tennis, decided to hit the ball as hard as humanly possible. As my friend Joey and I stood there, watching the ball sail off into orbit, we decided perhaps we should play basketball, instead.

I don't do things lightly, which is why I'm always flicking my wrist as fast and as hard as humanly possible in order to send the ball (or ring) out into the space around my hand. Sure, it flies fast, but it doesn't hang in the air long enough for me to get the cup under it. After a few thousand tries like this--because it doesn't occur to me to not fling the ball as hard as possible--I give up and go play basketball.

Anyway, this little game has a name: bilboquet.

I wonder if trying to get a large-breasted, air-headed blond on a stick would be "bimboquet". Or just easy. Hahahahahahahahahaha! I made a sexual joke about the ease with which one may part a blonde's thighs. I'm so original!!!

The word--and hold on, because this might shock you--is French in origin. The French word bille means small ball (CQED...get it? It's a French joke!*) and coupling it with the word bouquet, which is a spearhead found on a coat-of-arms.

The use of this one might be a touch tricky, but I think I can work it in. Since the magnum opus features lots of nobility, I can see a scene at a court and then I can mention some attendant or advisor sitting in the corner, idly amusing themselves with a bilboquet. Sure, it might seem a touch out-of-place, since there's no France in the story, but I don't care. It would still be somewhat timely, and besides, you don't need a French maiden just to use a French-derived term in a book, right?

And, you never know...maybe someday it will help you answer a question of Jeopardy, kind of like when I told you what "thaumaturge" means or, like this past week, when the Battle of Actium was an answer of Jeopardy. And, if you ever get on the show, you can thank me with a small sliver of your winnings.



* CQED = "C'est qu'elle dit" which means "that's what she says".