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To Sleep Perchance to Dream: Aye, There's the Rub

October 21, 2009

So, I had a dream last night.

I suppose I have dreams every night, but this one struck a chord.

I was hanging out with my grad school buddies again, Dr. Assy and Captain B. You might remember Captain B from suck such pick-up lines as "California? I'm from Connecticut! They both start with C!" Dr. Assy was the other guy I lived with in grad school.

Well, we were back together and we all had our respective degrees. This was kind of odd because two of us are married and Dr. Assy is busy curing Cancer or some other sign of the Zodiac. But, we were hanging out and, when the three of us were together, there was usually a lot of alcohol involved. I may or may not have mentioned this in the past.

So, we're hanging out, talking, my buddies and I, in this dream, when Dr. Assy does his patented arm-wave. This was something that happened one night during a particularly drunken Groundhog's Day where we passed out watching an endless loop of The White Shadow on ESPN Classic. At one point, Dr. Assy started waving his arms around and I was like "What the hell? Are you an anemone now?"

"No," he responded, "there's just a lack of alcohol in my vicinity."

When you get science-type people drunk, you get conversations featuring words like "anemone" and "vicinity". And "backside attack".


So, in my dream, Dr. Assy is waving his arms around looking for alcohol, but there is none. I decide it's my duty to head down to the liquor store and buy some alcohol for the three of us. Captain B decides he's coming with. I start walking through a bunch of, what I can only describe as passenger cars on a train, because I keep opening and closing doors and ending up in a long, hallway-like area. And Captain B is right there.

I can tell, because he's got his hand on my back. And, apparently, he's getting more and more desirous of that alcohol, because he's pushing me harder and harder to get to the liquor store. Now his hand on my back is beginning to hurt. Finally, after about ten minutes of this, I turn to tell Captain B to fuck off, stop pushing on my back. But, when I turn, he's not there.

"Ah, hell," I said, "this is a fucking dream."

Which instantly caused me to wake up. Only problem? The pain in my back was still there. As lucidity slowly returned to me, I realized that my wife was sleeping with her knees in the middle of my back. *sigh* Once again, I've turned into Al Bundy.

Since it was the night of our anniversary, I decided not to start pushing her around the bed (heh), but instead shifted myself around so that I slept around her knees. After a couple of minutes, apparently satisfied that she had ruined a decent part of my night sensing me shifting on the bed, she rolled over and fell back asleep. A few minutes later, I also fell into a steady, dreamless slumber until the alarm went off a few minutes later.

Notice how I told this entire story about Dreaming, and didn't mention Sandman once.

Well, guess I fucked that up...

9 comments:

Sass said...

My dreams lately are crazy.

I'm not sure whether it's a curse, or a blessing, to be able to remember them in such vivid detail.

And happy anniversary. ;)

JenJen said...

I remember a lot of my dreams.

I cannot share them here.

adrienzgirl said...

Ever have one of those vivid dreams with your spouse doing something that just rubs you raw, and then when you wake up your still pissed?

Ed Adams said...

I knew it was a dream as soon as you mentioned drinking with buddies and there was no nagging wives around.

carissajaded said...

I have been dreaming of the apocalypse alot lately. and there are no zombies involved, so it really sucks....

mo.stoneskin said...

When you say you slept round her knees I'm hoping you mean still facing away from here.

Because otherwise that could have prompted a dream where Captain B is kneeing you in the groin.

erin said...

I just hit save on a post with the exact same title...

But it was very serious and not at all as good or cool as yours.

Mz. Spider said...

When I grit my teeth in my sleep, I dream that I am spitting them out, one-by-one, into the sink. The "ping" sound will wake me up with a jolt every time. Freaky...

"but instead shifted myself around so that I slept around her knees." Being that I sleep with an effin bed HOG, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever read. This has made you...mighty sexy.

Happy Anniversary to you & the lucky wife!

~E said...

It seems everyone in blogger world is posting about their dreams. Must be something in the air.

And hahaha at Backside Attack. I'm not gonna admit my nerd-ness by saying I got it.

*but...I got it*