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Inspirational Reads

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

February 14, 2009

If you watch Jeopardy like I do, you'll remember that the other night, there was a Final Jeopardy question about the date of a holiday based on it being at the same time of a Roman mating festival or spring festival or something like that. I'll bet the losers are rueful of the fact that they don't read my blog, where they could have learned the answer to the question (or the question to the answer, since it is Jeopardy after all). Ha ha! That's what you get for not reading my blog, losers!

Actually, if I remember correctly, the returning champion that day was pretty effing hot. You're not a loser, baby. Here, let me console you by helping you out of that blouse.

Because of the connection made between Valentine and horny, sex-starved birds made by Chaucer, St. Valentine is the patron saint of birds. He is often symbolized by a bishop holding a rooster. Yes, you read that correctly. St. Valentine is symbolized as a man holding his cock. An erect cock, at that, since the bird is usually standing.

He is also the patron saint of beekeepers. There's nothing sarcastic or snarky to say here. I just thought it was kind of funny. I guess that's why we call each other "Honey" when being cutesy and lovie. Okay, so there's a touch of snark.

As for the iPod situation: thanks to everyone who helped. I ended up following a combination of Gwen and Jidai. I went to the Apple store and set up a meeting at the genius bar. The guy worked on it for 5 or 10 minutes, doing everything I had done to it, except he did it with a Mac. He got the same results I did, so I didn't feel nearly as clueless as I had previously. Turns out, the drive is ruined, so chances are Nimrod didn't want the iPod for whatever reason (as Beckeye suggested). They let me keep it so that I can use it for 10% off a new iPod, which I'll probably get her for her birthday or anniversary or Christmas or Arbor Day or something (so, you know, act surprised when I give it to you). Anyway, many thanks again to everyone who helped, even you people who said they were "no help at all". You gave it the old college try, at least.

Anyway, enjoy yourselves today. My wife has to work tonight, my daughter is having First Reconciliation today, and the Buxom and Comely and Easily Terrified and Desperately Exhausted Boudicca will need a nap between holy rites and work.

Here's the conversation that went down about this:

Boudicca: "I realize it's Valentine's day and all, but I switched with someone to work that night so that she could go and get a nice dinner with her boyfriend and get engaged. I'm sorry."
Me: "Don't worry, lovie. We have plenty of clean towels."
Boudicca: *rolls eyes*

I'm pretty sure I just shattered any chance I had of getting some tonight. Happy Valentine's Day. Feel free to come visit me while I'm sleeping in the backyard.


Chemgeek said...

and a Happy Valentine's Day to you also.

Sorry about the iPod.

Screw Valentine's/Hallmark/Day. Calculate how many minutes, hours, days or months you've been married and celebrate that. That means something. Don't give in to peer pressure. First it will be Valentines day. Next it will be crack cocaine. Careful.

Sassy Britches said...

I have a pop-up (pun intended) tent should you need it.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

@ Chemgeek: Ah crap...what comes after cocaine? Religion? Oh no!!!!!

@ Sassy Britches: You're all heart, you know that? Will the tent stop malicious fox attacks?

Sass said...

I've always hated Valentine's Day.

Go figure it's really all about a man and his erect cock.

I'm just sayin'.

SouthernBelle said...

Ah, you're an incurable romantic.

Thanks for the laugh and the history lesson!

Giggle Pixie said...

I hope your Valentines Day turns out better than expected! :-)

If all else fails, a little Wild Irish Rose and some porno on cable should make you feel better. lol

Frank said...

I finished my Valentine's Day slightly drunk and eating Taco Bell on the floor of my living room. Don't feel too bad.

Anonymous said...

Since you are on Lisatastrophie's blog roll and I have read that you comment on her blag as well, and how much she love your posts and the wizard cat, I thought I would pass this on to you. Lisatastrophie has had some real bad life luck lately and she is not doing well. She is in serious need of any moral support people can give her. We are hoping she can recover, but right now things are not looking good. If you get a chance please visit her blog and post some words of encouragement.
Sorry that this is not the best forum for this, but I am using her computer while keeping her company and can't figure out how the e-mail function for blog sites work.

~E said...

this is what i get for not reading blogs daily! I TOTALLY MISSED OUT on getting to accost you in your backyard. sure i dont know where you live or what you look like but those are trivial matters.

Fancy Schmancy said...

Happy belated VD. Hope your wife used a clean towel to dry her hair on Sunday!