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Inspirational Reads

Have You Guys Seen This?

February 20, 2009

I know, I know. I'm a grump. I dislike LOLCatz with the white hot passion of a thousand burning suns, or some other hyperbolic metaphor that comes to mind. Essentially, I want to pick kitteh up and punt his ass over the nearest river, but that's just me.

Oh, sure, I was lured in at first. I thought, "Oh, ha ha, yeah, I guess a cat would talk that way. Oh, look, ceiling cat is watching me masturbate! That cunning little pervert, hiding up there in the ceiling like that." Then, suddenly, I knew what it was like to be one of my love interests, and then things started feeling creepy. Kind of like that time I was wrestling with Uncle Tony.

*ahem*

Anyway, Lou at A Scientist's Life turned me on to the greatness that is ROLCatz. Except the R should be switched around, Toys R Us style, but with less silly stylized, cartoonish giraffes. At first I was like, "Yeah, okay, there's a bear and he's showing us his naughty bits, nice, nice, okay, hugging cats, yeah yeah...ho fucking hum..."

And then I came across this little dandy here:


"Ahhh...pig iron, your musk is that of glorious industry!"


I fucking died. I don't know why. Maybe it just hit me the right way, but it's hit me the right way ever since, every time I log in and look at it. Just like that time when I was wrestling with Uncle Tony.

*ahem*

Of course, there's some douchebag who clogs up the comments section with his "that's not the right translation, it's really 'mmmm...I smell sausages!'" Eff off, douchebag. Didn't you see Red Dawn? I mean, fuck, those bastards snuck up on us, and we still stopped them cold *slams fist on desk* at the Rockies!

Douchebagginess aside, the site is mildly entertaining. There are some good ones in there, and there are some others that are kind of "meh", and then there are some like pig iron kitteh up there that are fucking brilliant. I thought maybe it would bring some enlightenment and entertainment to you this weekend, because I'll be too busy raping the bargain aisles at Circuit City to come up with much else in the way of posts.

I shall reap the failure of the capitalist swine as my cousins harvest wheat upon the Collectives in the Ukraine! Tonight we dine upon borscht, for tomorrow we may rot in Hell!

7 comments:

Chemgeek said...

I'm pretty sure it's the word 'musk' that really makes it funny.

Joe said...

New format? I believe I'm at the wrong blog or it's the bottle of Riesling I polished off. At least by this time next week I will be able to kick you at will. I'm looking forward to it!!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

@ Chemgeek: You're right, musk does make it much more funny.

@ Joe: You've been spending far too much time with the Europeans. You've turned into some kind of namby-pamby soccer player.

Will Shannon said...

"Well, boys, I reckon this is it. Nuclear combat, toe-to-toe with the Russkies...and their cats."

That was fucking hilarious. It's like a joke I told to my classes two years ago about Soviet pop music. What was it about...tractor production?

Like the new format, by the way.

Oh, and me and my friends (called the Libertarian North Korea by some) call soccer "Continental Run And Kick."

SouthernBelle said...

I effing LOVE your new look.

Rolcats is pretty much the best site on the web. I adore it. And I also hate the humorless morons who clog the comments pointing out that the translations are wrong, although I do enjoy finding out the real ones.

Giggle Pixie said...

I like both translations!! And by the way, your new blog look ROCKS!!!

Frank said...

I have the icanhascheezburger site as my homepage...for some reason, those industrious cats with their primitive grasp of English finds a soft spot in my otherwise callous and resentful exterior.