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Inspirational Reads

I Need Six Volunteers

February 23, 2009

Well, I guess I should say, I need "at least" six volunteers.

It's a pretty easy task, too. It's just some clicking. No riddle answering or hoop jumping or anything. Just click click done.

Back story time. Hey, I'm a would-be author. I try to lure you in with the jacket cover blurb and then I have to fill in the gaps before the main meat of the story is entered. Earlier today, my friend Sass (many of you know her, what with the coffee cup and all) typed up a nice little post where she asked her readers to go ahead and make a comment and follow her so that they would automatically be updated as to when she enters yet another brilliant piece of writing. She then proceeded to discuss hanger orgies and promptly told everyone who uses Gain dryer sheets that they smelled of white trash.

Oh, by the way, I use Gain dryer sheets. Wait...what's that noise? Do you hear it? It's the sound of my mullet growing in. Beautiful, lanky, greasy, stunning...business up front and party in the back. Just like my old lady! hee-yuk.

Anyway, hilljackers and sisterfuckers aside, apparently, five people got offended enough by dear Sass', well, sass that they decided to not follow her. Apparently, her blog was being read by the board of directors of Proctor & Gamble.

What I need for you to do (that is, those of you willing to undertake such a feat), is to go over to Sass' blog, Are You Sassified?, and get sassified if you already aren't. Become a follower of the Sass. Trust me, you'll thank me for it, eventually. I figure if six of you can do that, it would offset her losses for the day and even add to the ever-expanding Church of Sass. Hopefully the Pope will give me some kickbacks.

Just remember: you don't have to do it; I'm just asking you as a personal favor to me, the monkey trying to hammer out some Shakespeare.

Why am I doing this? Well, for one, I have a heart of gold. Seriously, it just lays in there like a lump, occasionally beating and helping propargyl amines undergo cyclizations. *hears crickets* Also, I have just figured out how to put up this kick-ass new layout, I've gained two followers of my own, and I've gotten comments from cool new people like Pistols and Cow Guy. And CoolRed38, the only person I've ever met from, visiting, or having set foot on Bahrainian soil.

And that, my friends, is enough to make me all about spreading the love.

16 comments:

Sassy Britches said...

Run, don't walk, to Sass' place people! What are you waiting for?!

Dr Zibbs said...

Already a follower.

And great pic of Cletus.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

@ Sassy Britches: Really, I'm doing these people a favor. Plus, if they run, it'll help to scour off a little weight.

@ Zibbs: Yeah, I know that a lot of my readers run in the same circle. I'm hoping six of them aren't already followers of Sass, though.

Scope said...

This "Sass" that you speak of...

Love the gnu layout. I so need to class my joint up a little.

Noel said...

I have already been following her. Haha. Beat you to it. And she's in my google reader.

Sass said...

I glanced at your title, and thought...Hmmm....if he needs volunteers, I'll volunteer.

I'm a roll-over and take it kind of gal, you know, like France? ;)

Where was I?

I read this with my left hand over my mouth, because I kept gasping at the things you were saying.

You have no idea how much you just made my day...

And the comments...you guys just rock.

I'll now be stalking your page all day, so put on some nice pants.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

I am proud to say that I am part of the Sass "cool crowd".

How magnanimous of you.

And "sisterfucker"? Oh, too funny. Is that a noun?? Cant get that visual outta my mind now. Thanks.

red said...

Is there a difference between "following" people in Blogger and following them in Reader?

Love the new layout, btw.

Giggle Pixie said...

Know what I say? F'em if they can't take a joke. :-)

coolred38 said...

Well I would run but that could seriously cause a ripple affect in the time space contiuim (sp?)and then the net as we know it is fucked. So I will scamper...scamper is good, scamper is safe and any resulting ripples will be the sort that rocks the boat just enough to turn that doze into a solid nap.

Im coming Sass...scampering my ass right over. See ya there.

btw thanks mjenks for the shoutout.

LYDIA said...

You do have a heart of Gold - and yes, I already stalk Sass.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

@ Scope: Yes, it is quite gnu, isn't it? Too bad it's not blue. That Blue Gnu! Wow...I was on the cusp of cleverness there.

@ Noel: Well-played, sir, well-played.

@ Sass: Hoh hoh hoh!

I wear nice pants for no one! Not even you, Frenchie!

@ Candy: Wait...are you saying I'm made out of molten rock? And, thanks, I was inspired when I crafted that gem.

@ red: I assume it's just where your picture pops up is all.

@ Giggle Pixie: Wow. That took me back. My buddy Will's dad taught me that phrase (probably through Will). And, yes, Will's dad kicks ass.

@ CoolRed38: No prob with the shoutout, yo. Thanks for reading! And, in case you can't sleep tonight, it's "continuum".

@ Lydia: I know, I've been cyclizing propargylic amines for a while now. And thank goodness for coming back.

TishTash said...

The Monkey makes a comeback! Awoohoo!

Lisa-tastrophies said...

I just got my "Sass" on!!
Yep. I will do anything for the Mjenks....including stalking bloggers I never read before. (But now am totally hooked 'cause she is ffffuuuuuunnnnnyyyyy)

Gwen said...

I've been hip to the Sass for a while but you are a good man for replacing her sex, no six, followers.

I forgot to mention it the other day, but the new layout is fantastic. It feels so roomy and comfortable in here!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

@ TishTash: Yep, he's here thanks to you. There's a second, deeper meaning, too, that I'll get into eventually.

@ Lisa: Seriously, you'll thank me for it. There's a reason why she has 150 some odd followers, and it's because she continues to put up quality posts. Plus, yeah, that whole humor thing.

@ Gwen: Hey now, don't be jumping the gun on the Friday Morning Latin lesson! The other six days of the week, it's "six", but on Friday, it's "sex". Oh, I tickle myself pink sometimes.